TO STUPID EMO ELSIE WHO THINKS SHE SUCKS SO I'M GONNA TELL HER THAT SHE SUCKS SINCE SHE WANTS IT SO MUCH

This blog post was supposed to be a positive post but now it's gonna turn into an emo post because of my dear friend Elsie here. Aish, Elsie, aish. You tell me not to be emo yet you're emo-ing. Geez! I thought we had an understanding? We both can't emo okay? :) Can't. Never. Won't. 

Anyway, in relation to her blog post, here we go:

Stop caring about your fucking image dude. I wanna slap some sense in you now. *rage* WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT IMAGE? WHO THE FUCK CARES? Seriously. If they care they aren't your friends now are they? Then you're gonna rant..

"But image still matters. They're the first impression someone has of you."

Excuse me lady, though that might be true, do you really think that your appearances matter as opposed to your personality? And if you're even thinking that your personality ain't good I'm gonna charge all the way down to your house that is just across the road I swear!

Cause Amelia doesn't hang out with people who are not awesome.

I don't know why you're emoing. I don't know why you're even treating it as though it's a process of growing up. You can't satisfy the whole god damn world, Elsie. You only can live for yourself. Be yourself. When you were starting to get conscious of your weight and appearance, I thought you were simply vain. Now I know it's something more than that.

Girl, let them judge all they want. You can't fault someone from judging you. Deep down you judge someone else too, don't you? Because we are not perfect. Because we're all filled with flaws. Because we're humans, but that's what makes us special don't we?

I mean to be honest, I get judged pretty a lot too, especially when you're wearing slippers to TP. It's practically a violation of some unwritten rule in the book. Still, Elsie, it doesn't matter. Stop worrying about everyone else's opinion for a second here and just think, is this what you truly want? Is this what you desire? Cause you know, screw everyone and their opinions. I may sound obnoxious when I say this, but your opinions are the one that truly matter at the end of the day, right?

"And after you identify everything you get even more problems because once you identify them they can never ever go away BECAUSE YOU GAVE IT A NAME. It's REAL. It's THERE. IT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH THAT YOU CAN SEE NOW ONCE YOU OPENED UP YOUR EYES AND THE THICK SKULL OF YOURS.
and the regret that pours in is torturous as well. And this is part of growing up. WTF I might as well kill myself now because 3 months later I'm going to be all WTF is Elsie doing what kind of shit is this
it's just urgh it's like a fucking parasitic virus urgh and I can't do anything about it."

Please. Someone give me a hammer cause I need to bash some sense into a friend called Elsie that I have. I'm so sick of telling her she's perfect the way she is I'm just gonna say she's imperfect. Yes, Elsie. YOU ARE SO SUCKY THE WHOLE WORLD HATES YOU AND YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO JUMP OFF A BUILDING AND DIE CAUSE NO ONE LIKES YOU ANYWAY. 

Isn't that what you want to hear? Isn't that what you have firmly told yourself over these few years of your life? You suck. No one likes you. No one is your true friend. You don't see anything good about yourself. You can't bear to even look at your reflection. You try harder. You change. You dress up. You put on make up. Yet, it still doesn't hide the fact that at the end of the day, you're feeling much more empty and hollow than before.

Girl..

STOP LIVING LIFE FOR OTHERS! People are attracted to confident people. People who know what the fuck they are doing. People who have a direction in life. You want people to like you yet you're pushing them away by your low self esteem. Why? Why live a life of lie? Be yourself. That way if they like you, they'll like you for who you are.

Yes. You're hesitant in making new friends because you're afraid of failure and rejection. I can't help you with that. I wish I could, but I can't. Elsie, can't you see? What is part of growing up is not learning that people judge you by how you act or behave, the most important point is that you learn how to adapt to the circumstances that life throws you and fight back with a complete confidence in your own identity.

Growing up is not about losing yourself. It's about finding yourself. Somehow you're getting them mixed up. Sorry if I sound irritated. I just think that you should really STOP worrying about what other people think. Get used to living your own life your way. No one can make you happy but yourself. IF you make yourself unhappy over others' opinions, who will benefit in the end? You or them? THEM. Cause they don't lose a fucking thing.

I know. It's easier said than done. Still, that's the main point right? Learning how to make lemonade with all the lemons life throws us.. You know what? Screw lemonade. Let's make fucking pulp and smash lemons to bits. Lemons are too sour anyway. They're disgusting.

Alright. Enough about my lemons nonsense. The point is this: You cannot change others' opinions of you but you can change your opinions of them.

Maybe if you learn to accept and adapt, maybe if you learn to find pleasures in simple things, you'll find that growing up is not that tough after all. Sure, life sucks, but heys you still have your friends with you don't you? And don't you dare say you don't. I read the tags on the tag board. There are TWO friends who replied to your "mature" blog post and now here's me so don't say that no one cares about you okay?

Cause we all do.

Just as we all do love you.

Now get yourself back together and give me the bitch Elsie I know so well.

"By Primary One I could no longer talk to teachers because I realised that they can scold me and they can talk to my parents.
By Primary Six I could no longer jump around from cliques to cliques like it was normal.
By Secondary Two/Three I could no longer find a clique or talk to people normally anymore because nobody does and after so long of trying pathetically and still failing in the end I literally forget how to talk to people or start making friends because I haven't done anything like that for the past 4 years.
By Secondary Three I stopped trying to approach people because you can feel the glares and the purposefully polite denials to any request you make and also you can see how shameless and AA it can be.
By Secondary Four I gave up on trying to even communicate with others because the cliques are stuck there's really no point and you start to see the social divides.

By JC1 I got even more nutty because I found out about judging and it was so traumatising because the judging was right there since Secondary Two/Three and I pathetically didn't even realised that certain people were looking down on me, certain people were avoiding me just because of my image and not because of personality. Social awkwardness was a problem during every single conversation and turning to my smartphone is worsening it significantly. Doesn't help that there's the addition of boys and their minds work extremely nonsensically, and add in the rumours, scandals, relationship problems flying around everywhere it's so crazy."

Then by JC2 I hope you've realised that sometimes, multiple "friends" can't compare to that one true friend. I hope you'll know that there is no need for clique jumping cause you know who your true friends are. You know who to approach and how to do so. You learn to ignore the social hierarchy cause you're not gonna be part of the average human beings out there classified under a social system that doesn't make any sense. You know you're much more special than that. You'll also realise that though people judge, people change their opinions as quickly as well. By then you'll probably know that the best part of it all is that you know who you are and where you stand, how you feel and where you are going. That you're you and no one can even change that about you.

Elsie is Elsie and I hope by then you'll be proud to be you.

Peace.