Bad news and bad news again..
I don't know what to think nor what to feel. Why is this happening? I can't help but question once more.
Just for once, let her be alright.
She finally dropped her tagging.
She finally enrolled herself into polytechnic.
She's finally beginning a new life.
WHY?
Why..
I'll never get this.
I'm not sure if I want to know anymore..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday, August 30, 2013
Thursday, August 29, 2013
XJAPAN piano cover 6 【Tears】(full ver.)
Awesome piano cover is awesome the person who's playing this is a genius I say. A GENIUS! :DD
LALALALA~
Blogging because I'm procrastinating and cause I'm feeling kinda sad for unknown reasons haha. My mood swings are tremendous these days. I don't even know how to describe them anymore ahahaha. :D Alright. The smiley face is a lie. I'm not feeling that happy at the moment.
It's just that, well, sometimes, do you look back at your life and suddenly think that you're so so invisible? So insignificant? Okay. Let me rephrase that before your mind starts thinking I'm emoing or whatever reason it has managed to conjure up. What I'm trying to say is, have you ever looked back at your life and realised that your life is empty, devoid and utterly meaningless?
That's how I'm looking at events in my life now. Dispassionately. I don't know what makes me enthusiastic haha. DongBangShinKi only makes me excited if I allow it to. Other than that, sadly, it doesn't. I'm just.. there? LOL. A person, a human, a beating heart..
Okay. Maybe all these thoughts are coming cause I'm hearing Forever Love by X JAPAN. That song never fails to make me cry. Perhaps it's because of the lyrics. Perhaps it's because of the melody. Perhaps, it's because I can feel the angst and sadness Toshi is trying to transmit through this song when he sang it.
Lyrics Translation:
Credits: here
THIS FUCKING SONG MAKES ME CRY EVERYTIME BECAUSE THIS SONG, THIS SONG WAS THE SONG THEY SANG AT HIDE'S FUNERAL. :( It breaks my heart everytime Toshi comes to the line 'Forever love, forever dream. Will you stay with me? Wait until after the wind passes, all my tears are still flowing... ' or when it comes to the line, 'Ah, what else would you lose if nothing at all matters.'
This song, their band, their music.. It never fails to make me cry. The version they sang at Hide's funeral was a clean version, but it's so heart wrenching it just makes tears well up in my eyes and I feel like crying already lol. Control Amelia, control. Hide's resting in peace now! :D
Btw, Hide was the guitarist of X JAPAN till it disbanded when Toshi decided to leave the group. He passed away shortly at 2 May 1998 due to some misaccident. :'( I'm only three years old when he died but now that I know about it, I can't help but cry at the thought of another loss of a talented musician.
And whenever I'm hearing X JAPAN's songs, I get really depressed and devastated. Then, all those feelings will cease altogether and suddenly I'll just be empty and devoid before the feelings of gratitude start to settle in.
I may love DBSK, JYJ, TVXQ, HoMin, whatever you wanna call them but even I as a Cassie recognize that these two bands are at two whole different standards. Besides, they can't be compared. Both grew under different circumstances, under different times of the music industry, I have no right to compare both DBSK and X JAPAN lol. It'll be unfair of me if I did so. :')
And now, now I'm just emo. Cause Forever Love's a freaking emo song and the lyrics break my heart along with everything else with it. :( My favourite songs from them so far are: Tears, Forever Love, Kurenai, Endless Rain. I haven't heard much yet so maybe this list will change after a while haha. I just really love Yoshiki's sense of musicality and the music he composes. I REALLY LOVE LOVE HIM!!! :DD Okay. Maybe not his personality, but the music he produces is just top notched quality! He rocks man! :D
Loving him~ Loving his music~ Loving everything~
Anyway, updates to my plans for Sept:
2 Sep: AIMM paper and teaching Cassandra maths for her prelims
3 - 4 Sep: Either hang out with friends or stay home alone
5 Sep: Tingwei, Tingwei and Tingwei alone
6 Sep: Naina and Sien
7 Sep: Celebrating Alicia's birthday with Suuswen and Cassandra
8 Sep: Stay home alone day
9 Sep - 27 Sep: China, Suzhou
28 Sep: Sleep sleep sleep and thank God I'm in Singapore
29 Sep - 30 Sep: Get started on oral presentation for China Studies
1 Oct - 7 Oct: MOF
8 Oct: Start of yet another excellent year in Temasek Polytechnic lol!
Here's to another awesome week of studying ahead~! AIMM, I WILL CONQUER YOU. RAWRRRRRRRRRRR~~~
#smiles
It's just that, well, sometimes, do you look back at your life and suddenly think that you're so so invisible? So insignificant? Okay. Let me rephrase that before your mind starts thinking I'm emoing or whatever reason it has managed to conjure up. What I'm trying to say is, have you ever looked back at your life and realised that your life is empty, devoid and utterly meaningless?
That's how I'm looking at events in my life now. Dispassionately. I don't know what makes me enthusiastic haha. DongBangShinKi only makes me excited if I allow it to. Other than that, sadly, it doesn't. I'm just.. there? LOL. A person, a human, a beating heart..
Okay. Maybe all these thoughts are coming cause I'm hearing Forever Love by X JAPAN. That song never fails to make me cry. Perhaps it's because of the lyrics. Perhaps it's because of the melody. Perhaps, it's because I can feel the angst and sadness Toshi is trying to transmit through this song when he sang it.
Lyrics Translation:
I'll never walk alone again, the winds of time are too strong.
Ah, it's that what you hurts, which you'll have to live with...
Ah, this tight embrace, and this burning, unchanged heart.
In this ever changing time, love will never change.
Will you hold my heart? Stop flowing tears.
Again, all of my heart is broken....
Forever love, forever dream
Only flowing emotions,bury this intense,
trying, meaningless times.
Oh tell me why ... all I see is blue in my heart.
Will you stay with me? Wait until after the wind passes,
all my tears are still flowing...
Forever love, forever dream
Stay with me like this.
Hold my trembling heart in the dawn.
Oh stay with me...
Ah, everything good seems to be ending,
in this unending night.
Ah, what else would you lose if nothing at all matters.
Forever love, forever dream, stay with me like this.
Hold my trembling heart in the dawn.
Oh will you stay with me... Until the wind passes,
stay with me again.
Forever love, forever dream, I'll never walk this path.
Oh tell me why, tell me true, teach me how to live.
Forever love, forever dream, within flowing tears
Bright seasons will forever change again and again ....
forever love...
Credits: here
THIS FUCKING SONG MAKES ME CRY EVERYTIME BECAUSE THIS SONG, THIS SONG WAS THE SONG THEY SANG AT HIDE'S FUNERAL. :( It breaks my heart everytime Toshi comes to the line 'Forever love, forever dream. Will you stay with me? Wait until after the wind passes, all my tears are still flowing... ' or when it comes to the line, 'Ah, what else would you lose if nothing at all matters.'
This song, their band, their music.. It never fails to make me cry. The version they sang at Hide's funeral was a clean version, but it's so heart wrenching it just makes tears well up in my eyes and I feel like crying already lol. Control Amelia, control. Hide's resting in peace now! :D
Btw, Hide was the guitarist of X JAPAN till it disbanded when Toshi decided to leave the group. He passed away shortly at 2 May 1998 due to some misaccident. :'( I'm only three years old when he died but now that I know about it, I can't help but cry at the thought of another loss of a talented musician.
And whenever I'm hearing X JAPAN's songs, I get really depressed and devastated. Then, all those feelings will cease altogether and suddenly I'll just be empty and devoid before the feelings of gratitude start to settle in.
I may love DBSK, JYJ, TVXQ, HoMin, whatever you wanna call them but even I as a Cassie recognize that these two bands are at two whole different standards. Besides, they can't be compared. Both grew under different circumstances, under different times of the music industry, I have no right to compare both DBSK and X JAPAN lol. It'll be unfair of me if I did so. :')
And now, now I'm just emo. Cause Forever Love's a freaking emo song and the lyrics break my heart along with everything else with it. :( My favourite songs from them so far are: Tears, Forever Love, Kurenai, Endless Rain. I haven't heard much yet so maybe this list will change after a while haha. I just really love Yoshiki's sense of musicality and the music he composes. I REALLY LOVE LOVE HIM!!! :DD Okay. Maybe not his personality, but the music he produces is just top notched quality! He rocks man! :D
Loving him~ Loving his music~ Loving everything~
Anyway, updates to my plans for Sept:
2 Sep: AIMM paper and teaching Cassandra maths for her prelims
3 - 4 Sep: Either hang out with friends or stay home alone
5 Sep: Tingwei, Tingwei and Tingwei alone
6 Sep: Naina and Sien
7 Sep: Celebrating Alicia's birthday with Suuswen and Cassandra
8 Sep: Stay home alone day
9 Sep - 27 Sep: China, Suzhou
28 Sep: Sleep sleep sleep and thank God I'm in Singapore
29 Sep - 30 Sep: Get started on oral presentation for China Studies
1 Oct - 7 Oct: MOF
8 Oct: Start of yet another excellent year in Temasek Polytechnic lol!
Here's to another awesome week of studying ahead~! AIMM, I WILL CONQUER YOU. RAWRRRRRRRRRRR~~~
#smiles
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Update:China Trip
Updating my blog today because I simply have nothing to do haha. Correction: I simply do not wish to do anything. Lazy bitch is lazy. Anyway, Fpath's paper today was... okay I guess? To be honest, I can't even remember what I've wrote or what the paper was even talking about. I guess 3 hours of sleep isn't really enough to sustain me for the paper huh?
Not like it's able to sustain me now. Oh well. Hung out with Michelle and Cassandra afterwards at Cassandra's house and Cassandra's grandfather even treated us to durians! Yums yums! :D I'm so gonna miss it when I'm off in China. Durians are really the king of all fruits in my opinion.
And now, I don't even know what I'm blogging about anymore lol. I'm literally typing whatever that runs through my mind and praying it makes sense to the world out there or which poor soul that finds his/her way in my blog. Sighs. I just realised, life's getting more and more tiring huh?
I don't see a break ahead. Endless assignments, countless projects.. I can't help but feel tired and weary of it all. -________________- Screw you China Studies. Screw you polytechnic. Can't believe I'm studying so hard for one stupid crap piece of paper. -_- Fuck diploma certificates.
Now I'm just tired and grumpy lol. Work today was hell too. I was just so sleepy, so tired, I was kinda lazy to entertain customers' requests. I could easily have been complained about but I guess I'm just lucky enough to meet wonderful customers today huh? The same cannot be said for some of my colleagues though. Selfish people are always selfish right down to the core. But really, who am I to judge? Ain't I selfish too?
Now I don't even know where I'm heading with this. Anyway guys, I'm repeating it here again since everyone's been asking when I'm going China and when I'll be back. For starters, I'll be flying on the 9th of September and my flight will be at 8.05am. For the umpteenth time, if you're thinking of sending me off, don't. I'll only be gone for 18days. You won't miss me much. There will be not much difference at all, lol. And no, it's not like my self esteem's low or any other bull crap like that. I'm just stating the truth. It's only 18 days. That's hardly enough time for one to miss another, at least in my opinion.
So yes, I'll be in China from 9 Sept to 27 Sept. Will I enjoy it there? I highly doubt so. Still, I should not be so hasty to judge right? Who knows? Maybe it'll turn out to be fun. One thing's for sure though, it'll definitely be a HUGE learning experience! :D
I'll be back on the 27 Sept as mentioned above but I won't be free to meet you guys. In fact, I'm only free from the 3 Sept - 6 Sept before I fly off to China so book your days now. First come first serve basis. This way I won't get accuse of being biased haha.
Tell me if you've scheduled a date okay? :D Then I'll strike that date off asap. My schedule for the upcoming semestral holidays:
2 Sep: AIMM paper and teaching Cassandra maths for her prelims
3 - 4 Sep: Either hang out with friends or stay home alone
5 Sep: Tingwei, Tingwei and Tingwei alone
6 Sep: Naina and Sien
7 Sep: Celebrating Alicia's birthday with Suuswen and Cassandra
8 Sep: Stay home alone day
9 Sep - 27 Sep: China, Suzhou
28 Sep: Sleep sleep sleep and thank God I'm in Singapore
29 Sep - 30 Sep: Get started on oral presentation for China Studies
1 Oct - 7 Oct: MOF
8 Oct: Start of yet another excellent year in Temasek Polytechnic lol!
So yes, I'm a busy woman. Book me before you can't haha. It's only at times like this I realised the number of friends that I truly have. Oh yeah! Please text me if you want something specific from China or Suzhou. So yeps, that's it. That's all for today. Ciaos!
:D
Not like it's able to sustain me now. Oh well. Hung out with Michelle and Cassandra afterwards at Cassandra's house and Cassandra's grandfather even treated us to durians! Yums yums! :D I'm so gonna miss it when I'm off in China. Durians are really the king of all fruits in my opinion.
And now, I don't even know what I'm blogging about anymore lol. I'm literally typing whatever that runs through my mind and praying it makes sense to the world out there or which poor soul that finds his/her way in my blog. Sighs. I just realised, life's getting more and more tiring huh?
I don't see a break ahead. Endless assignments, countless projects.. I can't help but feel tired and weary of it all. -________________- Screw you China Studies. Screw you polytechnic. Can't believe I'm studying so hard for one stupid crap piece of paper. -_- Fuck diploma certificates.
Now I'm just tired and grumpy lol. Work today was hell too. I was just so sleepy, so tired, I was kinda lazy to entertain customers' requests. I could easily have been complained about but I guess I'm just lucky enough to meet wonderful customers today huh? The same cannot be said for some of my colleagues though. Selfish people are always selfish right down to the core. But really, who am I to judge? Ain't I selfish too?
Now I don't even know where I'm heading with this. Anyway guys, I'm repeating it here again since everyone's been asking when I'm going China and when I'll be back. For starters, I'll be flying on the 9th of September and my flight will be at 8.05am. For the umpteenth time, if you're thinking of sending me off, don't. I'll only be gone for 18days. You won't miss me much. There will be not much difference at all, lol. And no, it's not like my self esteem's low or any other bull crap like that. I'm just stating the truth. It's only 18 days. That's hardly enough time for one to miss another, at least in my opinion.
So yes, I'll be in China from 9 Sept to 27 Sept. Will I enjoy it there? I highly doubt so. Still, I should not be so hasty to judge right? Who knows? Maybe it'll turn out to be fun. One thing's for sure though, it'll definitely be a HUGE learning experience! :D
I'll be back on the 27 Sept as mentioned above but I won't be free to meet you guys. In fact, I'm only free from the 3 Sept - 6 Sept before I fly off to China so book your days now. First come first serve basis. This way I won't get accuse of being biased haha.
Tell me if you've scheduled a date okay? :D Then I'll strike that date off asap. My schedule for the upcoming semestral holidays:
2 Sep: AIMM paper and teaching Cassandra maths for her prelims
3 - 4 Sep: Either hang out with friends or stay home alone
5 Sep: Tingwei, Tingwei and Tingwei alone
6 Sep: Naina and Sien
7 Sep: Celebrating Alicia's birthday with Suuswen and Cassandra
8 Sep: Stay home alone day
9 Sep - 27 Sep: China, Suzhou
28 Sep: Sleep sleep sleep and thank God I'm in Singapore
29 Sep - 30 Sep: Get started on oral presentation for China Studies
1 Oct - 7 Oct: MOF
8 Oct: Start of yet another excellent year in Temasek Polytechnic lol!
So yes, I'm a busy woman. Book me before you can't haha. It's only at times like this I realised the number of friends that I truly have. Oh yeah! Please text me if you want something specific from China or Suzhou. So yeps, that's it. That's all for today. Ciaos!
:D
Friday, August 23, 2013
random
Yo! It's been a while since I've last blogged huh? LOL. It's 3am now and I'm not asleep. Yay me! Haha. Anyway, good news to share: Michelle's father was discharged today! YAY! :D Glad he's feeling better. :)
Now, onto crappier stuff: Exams. I haven't really started studying fpath yet. I'm feeling that teeny weeny bit of anxiety haha. Alright. I'm feeling way MOREE anxiety than that. Oh well, I can do this right? GAMBATTE AMELIA! Let's conquer this stupid thing called exams shall we? :)
Anyway, I was talking to Cassandra today and I was telling her about the whole cutting thing lol. I came to a conclusion that for one to actually resort to self harm she must hate herself a lot huh? Thank God I'm over that phase. :D Perhaps that's why I don't nag at Carity a lot for smoking. I too understand the difficulty of addiction, although it's not as serious as hers. I do wish that she'll stop though. Smoking's seriously bad for health.
Sighs. I'm really growing up aren't I? I wish I can hold onto my innocence forever but sadly that's not the case huh? Life forces you to mature. You aren't even given a choice. :( Damn you life. I've had it with you and your nonsense. :(
And now here I am in the wee hours of the morning feeling really sleepy but forcing myself to stay awake because I'm waiting for my stupid phone to charge. Damn it. :( Should have remembered to charge my phone earlier. Now, I'm staying up for no reason at all. -____________________-
OH! Btw guys, I've got a new phone casing! It's red in colour and it is so wonderful, excellent, beautiful, gorgeous..
It's the best thing ever!
Best phone cover award goes to it...
...
Or not.
Alright. Who am I kidding? I got it for 10 bucks at the local pasar malam haha. Once an auntie, forever an auntie. I've officially been converted to an auntie! :D YAY! Budget people are budget.
Saving money like nobody's business. #TheBoss
-ends entry here-
If you are reading this, you're an idiot. There is no secret message to speak of when Amelia is concerned. I have nothing to hide and I'm not ashamed to show who I am. However, since you took the time to actually read this piece of crap, I'll let you off for this time. Please, next time, don't be tricked by empty blocks of space in between sentences. Sometimes, it means some thing. Other times, it really means nothing.
ERROR: Ran out of bullshit to type.
Now, onto crappier stuff: Exams. I haven't really started studying fpath yet. I'm feeling that teeny weeny bit of anxiety haha. Alright. I'm feeling way MOREE anxiety than that. Oh well, I can do this right? GAMBATTE AMELIA! Let's conquer this stupid thing called exams shall we? :)
Anyway, I was talking to Cassandra today and I was telling her about the whole cutting thing lol. I came to a conclusion that for one to actually resort to self harm she must hate herself a lot huh? Thank God I'm over that phase. :D Perhaps that's why I don't nag at Carity a lot for smoking. I too understand the difficulty of addiction, although it's not as serious as hers. I do wish that she'll stop though. Smoking's seriously bad for health.
Sighs. I'm really growing up aren't I? I wish I can hold onto my innocence forever but sadly that's not the case huh? Life forces you to mature. You aren't even given a choice. :( Damn you life. I've had it with you and your nonsense. :(
And now here I am in the wee hours of the morning feeling really sleepy but forcing myself to stay awake because I'm waiting for my stupid phone to charge. Damn it. :( Should have remembered to charge my phone earlier. Now, I'm staying up for no reason at all. -____________________-
OH! Btw guys, I've got a new phone casing! It's red in colour and it is so wonderful, excellent, beautiful, gorgeous..
It's the best thing ever!
Best phone cover award goes to it...
...
Or not.
Alright. Who am I kidding? I got it for 10 bucks at the local pasar malam haha. Once an auntie, forever an auntie. I've officially been converted to an auntie! :D YAY! Budget people are budget.
Saving money like nobody's business. #TheBoss
-ends entry here-
If you are reading this, you're an idiot. There is no secret message to speak of when Amelia is concerned. I have nothing to hide and I'm not ashamed to show who I am. However, since you took the time to actually read this piece of crap, I'll let you off for this time. Please, next time, don't be tricked by empty blocks of space in between sentences. Sometimes, it means some thing. Other times, it really means nothing.
ERROR: Ran out of bullshit to type.
Monday, August 19, 2013
RAGE ENTRY: CAT ABUSE
This fucking breaks my heart.
Dear all,
there is a lot of cats abuse incident happening at Telok Blangah Crescent Blk 4-6. All this cats are very much friendly and so they let down their guards easily. There were 2 pronounced dead as the resident witnessed their corpses were left in the drain.
This abuser, female or male - still unknown; always love to attack their legs and hands and their joints. We did not noticed any unusual activities , neither heard any cats meow loudly or cry in pain but we are aware a few cats were injured on limbs and so we suspected the abuse activities could not have been carried out in the afternoon or evening and we suspected that the abused could have carried out during wee hours.
Tonight, about 1.15AM, I went down to the void deck and feed some cats and realised another cat was limping too. Not only attacking her left leg but left hand too. It's very saddening to see 1-by-1 being injured as they are all very lively and bubbly. Cats - there is no harms to anyone, they won't bite or claw unless you attack them so why is this abuser wanna take their lives so badly?
P/S - I've attached also attached the photos up. Currently the abuser is trying to attack the beautiful lady - Siamese.
Is there any cat lovers out there who can actually lend a helping hand? To either adopt all this cats home or do something to help to catch the abuser?
— with Donald Lim and Ada Wong.
UPDATE:
Ada Wong
Dear all,
recently I've posted a cat abuser crime at Blk 4-6 Telok Blangah Crescent. Now, another good friend of us has been found dead at Blk 7 drain. It's very saddening. Please rest in peace.
One of my friend, she actually took the initiative to call TODAY, WAN BAO and etc to publicize but they refused to help. Finding MP, police is also useless as we have tried many times.
This abuser is getting out of hand, too much.
Anyone has any suggestion?
Full link here.
And you know what's best? Here's what the relevant authorities are doing:
Ada Wong: There is an lady, she live in Blk 4, she told us in dialect that she had called the police over 6-7 times but the police seems useless. They told her they only can arrest crimes but if they were to catch "cat-abuser" is pretty difficult so the police actually drop the matter.
Res Nanny: SPCA and CWS have been notified since end July by me. A old lady has made 15 Police report . No witness, no evidence..... all gave same excuse .. unable to act further based on suspicions only. Today, I discovered this cat dead in drain. SPCA collected the dead at 8pm. Autopsy will be performed to rule out NATURAL DEATH, before further actions can be taken.
WOW. Wow. I seriously am rendered speechless. How long has the crime been notified to them? It's been almost a month and what? Now then they're gonna perform an autopsy? WOW. SO what now? Police can't do a shit. Autopsies still have to be done.. WHO'S GONNA DO STH ABOUT THIS CAT ABUSE THEN?
Truth is: No one.
Reality fucking sucks. I've been to Telok Blangah before. It was where my old church was. It was the place I could call my second home back in my childhood. The cats there are super friendly. HOW CAN YOU ABUSE THEIR TRUST JUST LIKE THAT?
You, whoever you are, I hope that you will one day realise the severity and consequences of your actions. Every choice has an outcome and I hope you will GET the outcome you so deserved. Stop pretending. Stop lying. Whoever you are, your heart must be so cold for it lacks humanity, it lacks warmth. You're no better than a robot; a non living thing!
I won't curse you. I won't waste my saliva on the likes of you but I really wish that you will feel the pain that you've inflicted out onto those cats out there. Even a fraction is enough. You sick bastard. If you don't feel remorse doing this then you're really inhumane and you disgust me.
FUCK YOU.
Anyway, on the upside, here's a website that I've found:
A Singapore community cats blog! ^^ Yay! :D
http://singaporecommunitycats.blogspot.sg/
Follow them if you'll like to, I'll link them to my blog so you can visit their website.
FINALLY, finally someone cares about community cats as much as I do. I hope we'll make a difference to those strays out there! Let's work together to give them the best years of their life by adding life to their years~ Hwaiting!
Strays are beautiful. It's fine if you can't appreciate their beauty but abusing them? I sincerely hope you'll face the consequences of your actions and rethink your decisions once more. If you don't even feel a single ounce of remorse then dude, you deserve worse than death itself.
-rage entry ends-
Dear all,
there is a lot of cats abuse incident happening at Telok Blangah Crescent Blk 4-6. All this cats are very much friendly and so they let down their guards easily. There were 2 pronounced dead as the resident witnessed their corpses were left in the drain.
This abuser, female or male - still unknown; always love to attack their legs and hands and their joints. We did not noticed any unusual activities , neither heard any cats meow loudly or cry in pain but we are aware a few cats were injured on limbs and so we suspected the abuse activities could not have been carried out in the afternoon or evening and we suspected that the abused could have carried out during wee hours.
Tonight, about 1.15AM, I went down to the void deck and feed some cats and realised another cat was limping too. Not only attacking her left leg but left hand too. It's very saddening to see 1-by-1 being injured as they are all very lively and bubbly. Cats - there is no harms to anyone, they won't bite or claw unless you attack them so why is this abuser wanna take their lives so badly?
P/S - I've attached also attached the photos up. Currently the abuser is trying to attack the beautiful lady - Siamese.
Is there any cat lovers out there who can actually lend a helping hand? To either adopt all this cats home or do something to help to catch the abuser?
UPDATE:
Dear all,
recently I've posted a cat abuser crime at Blk 4-6 Telok Blangah Crescent. Now, another good friend of us has been found dead at Blk 7 drain. It's very saddening. Please rest in peace.
One of my friend, she actually took the initiative to call TODAY, WAN BAO and etc to publicize but they refused to help. Finding MP, police is also useless as we have tried many times.
This abuser is getting out of hand, too much.
Anyone has any suggestion?
Full link here.
And you know what's best? Here's what the relevant authorities are doing:
Ada Wong: There is an lady, she live in Blk 4, she told us in dialect that she had called the police over 6-7 times but the police seems useless. They told her they only can arrest crimes but if they were to catch "cat-abuser" is pretty difficult so the police actually drop the matter.
Res Nanny: SPCA and CWS have been notified since end July by me. A old lady has made 15 Police report . No witness, no evidence..... all gave same excuse .. unable to act further based on suspicions only. Today, I discovered this cat dead in drain. SPCA collected the dead at 8pm. Autopsy will be performed to rule out NATURAL DEATH, before further actions can be taken.
WOW. Wow. I seriously am rendered speechless. How long has the crime been notified to them? It's been almost a month and what? Now then they're gonna perform an autopsy? WOW. SO what now? Police can't do a shit. Autopsies still have to be done.. WHO'S GONNA DO STH ABOUT THIS CAT ABUSE THEN?
Truth is: No one.
Reality fucking sucks. I've been to Telok Blangah before. It was where my old church was. It was the place I could call my second home back in my childhood. The cats there are super friendly. HOW CAN YOU ABUSE THEIR TRUST JUST LIKE THAT?
You, whoever you are, I hope that you will one day realise the severity and consequences of your actions. Every choice has an outcome and I hope you will GET the outcome you so deserved. Stop pretending. Stop lying. Whoever you are, your heart must be so cold for it lacks humanity, it lacks warmth. You're no better than a robot; a non living thing!
I won't curse you. I won't waste my saliva on the likes of you but I really wish that you will feel the pain that you've inflicted out onto those cats out there. Even a fraction is enough. You sick bastard. If you don't feel remorse doing this then you're really inhumane and you disgust me.
FUCK YOU.
Anyway, on the upside, here's a website that I've found:
A Singapore community cats blog! ^^ Yay! :D
http://singaporecommunitycats.blogspot.sg/
Follow them if you'll like to, I'll link them to my blog so you can visit their website.
FINALLY, finally someone cares about community cats as much as I do. I hope we'll make a difference to those strays out there! Let's work together to give them the best years of their life by adding life to their years~ Hwaiting!
 |
| I MEAN NO HARM. |
Strays are beautiful. It's fine if you can't appreciate their beauty but abusing them? I sincerely hope you'll face the consequences of your actions and rethink your decisions once more. If you don't even feel a single ounce of remorse then dude, you deserve worse than death itself.
-rage entry ends-
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Michelle's Father :'(
So hey guys, you see me blogging again yeah~ Today I have a bad news to update you guys about though. Michelle's father had an heart attack yesterday and is now in ICU cause he has water in his lungs and has blood infection. Michelle says his condition is stabilized now though so yay, at least there's a relief there.
And I've already informed Tingwei, Yilian, Sheryl and Shimin. I know Sheryl and Yilian have sent warm messages to her already. I'm not sure about Tingwei and Shimin but now, here's my turn. It's probably gonna sound damn weird and stuff since it's been so long since I've last said mushy stuff like that but well, here goes nothing..
To Michelle,
You are a very important person to me you know that? That's why when I first heard from the church teacher about what happened to your dad, I was shocked to the very core. More importantly, I guess I was appalled that I couldn't tell from your tone of voice when you called yesterday that something this drastic had happened at all. Seems like I know very little about you after all.
Throughout my poly life, when I needed a listening ear, when I needed a helping hand, you've always been there for me. When it felt like the darkest point of my life, you were there to give me the light at the end of a long and torturous tunnel. I am so thankful to you for that. I told myself then that I will definitely do that for you too, but look at me now...
I realised in the end that there's really nothing I can do huh? This feeling of helplessness is so so similar to what I felt when Carity was going through her situation too. I'm not gonna get overwhelmed by it though. I'll support you all the way kay? Like what you've always done for me, I'll do the same for you. Hope is found in the faith of many and trust me, I'm not the only one out there who's praying for your father's condition.
We all are. We're praying for you, for your father, for your mother, for your brothers. Praying that you all will stay strong, hold on and just keep the faith. Of course, needless to say, if you ever need any help just find me kay? You can totally lean on me. I'm a STRONG pillar of support. An awkward one but one nonetheless. Lean on me, Michelle! Don't keep everything to yourself okay? Stay strong. Stay positive.
And to my other friends, even if you don't know Michelle personally, if you have the spare time, take a moment and pray for her father too okay? Together, we'll pray. Together, we'll keep the hope and faith going. Together. :)
Oh and Michelle, you're never alone. Just wanted to let you know that. :)
We're all in this together~
Always keep the faith.
:)
And I've already informed Tingwei, Yilian, Sheryl and Shimin. I know Sheryl and Yilian have sent warm messages to her already. I'm not sure about Tingwei and Shimin but now, here's my turn. It's probably gonna sound damn weird and stuff since it's been so long since I've last said mushy stuff like that but well, here goes nothing..
To Michelle,
You are a very important person to me you know that? That's why when I first heard from the church teacher about what happened to your dad, I was shocked to the very core. More importantly, I guess I was appalled that I couldn't tell from your tone of voice when you called yesterday that something this drastic had happened at all. Seems like I know very little about you after all.
Throughout my poly life, when I needed a listening ear, when I needed a helping hand, you've always been there for me. When it felt like the darkest point of my life, you were there to give me the light at the end of a long and torturous tunnel. I am so thankful to you for that. I told myself then that I will definitely do that for you too, but look at me now...
I realised in the end that there's really nothing I can do huh? This feeling of helplessness is so so similar to what I felt when Carity was going through her situation too. I'm not gonna get overwhelmed by it though. I'll support you all the way kay? Like what you've always done for me, I'll do the same for you. Hope is found in the faith of many and trust me, I'm not the only one out there who's praying for your father's condition.
We all are. We're praying for you, for your father, for your mother, for your brothers. Praying that you all will stay strong, hold on and just keep the faith. Of course, needless to say, if you ever need any help just find me kay? You can totally lean on me. I'm a STRONG pillar of support. An awkward one but one nonetheless. Lean on me, Michelle! Don't keep everything to yourself okay? Stay strong. Stay positive.
And to my other friends, even if you don't know Michelle personally, if you have the spare time, take a moment and pray for her father too okay? Together, we'll pray. Together, we'll keep the hope and faith going. Together. :)
Oh and Michelle, you're never alone. Just wanted to let you know that. :)
We're all in this together~
Always keep the faith.
:)
Saturday, August 17, 2013
eng song recommendations
Here because I'm suddenly struck with an insane urge to listen to English songs lol. So, I started listening to all the old English songs I've listened to and omg, I'm still crazy over them. Elsie, here's some recommendations:
1. Chris Daughtry, Learn my lesson
2. Chris Daughtry, Ghost of me
3. Simple Plan, Perfect
4. Simple Plan, Untitled
5. Linkin' Park, What I've Done
6. Linkin' Park, Numb
7. Linkin Park, In the End
8. Linkin' Park, New Divide
9. Christina Aguilera, Hurt
Kay. Sorry for being so random. BUT I WAS JUST RELIEVING MY CHILDHOOD AND THIS SONGS ARE AWESOME KAY? Check them out! ^^
Bye~
1. Chris Daughtry, Learn my lesson
2. Chris Daughtry, Ghost of me
3. Simple Plan, Perfect
4. Simple Plan, Untitled
5. Linkin' Park, What I've Done
6. Linkin' Park, Numb
7. Linkin Park, In the End
8. Linkin' Park, New Divide
9. Christina Aguilera, Hurt
Kay. Sorry for being so random. BUT I WAS JUST RELIEVING MY CHILDHOOD AND THIS SONGS ARE AWESOME KAY? Check them out! ^^
Bye~
Friday, August 16, 2013
blahblahblah
So hey guys, I'm back lol. I'm here to blog while my classmates are studying cause I ain't screwed enough lol! :D I'm so fucked for sem exams. I literally have NO mood to study at all. Unless I'm outta the house, I can't/won't study. Urgh. AMELIA, STUDY YOU BITCH!
Or you can become a road sweeper. Or do we need diplomas for road sweeping too? :/ DAMN! It sucks being a girl sometimes. They won't accept me as a construction worker. NOOO!! My future is ruined. :(
Alright. I'm just really crapping I know but for once, I really don't want sem exams to end. SEM EXAMS ENDING MEANS THE TRIP TO CHINA IS COMING AND HELP ME IF I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT.
I'm deathly afraid of China. Deathly! I don't know what I'll experience there. I don't know what I'll even feel there. The thought of being stuck with no internet scares me a lot. WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS IN THE FANDOM AND I DON'T KNOW?! :(
-sighs-
And I'll kind of lose contact with my family and friends.. I wonder what will happen then. Hmm.. Especially when my friendships with certain people has been fragile as of late. :/ Kinda worrying huh? I should just not go China damn it. I'm a total social wreck.
And my Chinese is so lousy these days even a frog can speak better Chinese than me. A BLOODY REPTILE IS BETTER THAN A HUMAN LIKE ME. I can proceed to die of shame now. :(
Recently Grace (cassie) and Suuswen have been saying that I whine a lot. I see. I don't know what to say for myself. To think that this word 'whine' is being associated with me thoroughly disgusts me. Yet, I can't deny the fact that I'm whining a lot these days. GOD DAMN! AMELIA JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP OKAY? :(
Okay. I'm done ranting about shit lol. I don't even know what I'm saying these days. Go home Amelia, you're drunk. Oh wait. I'm already home. DAMN. I'm just a tad insane. Hmm. Maybe I should just check myself in the world's best hotel ever: IMH
Sounds like a plan.
:D
Or you can become a road sweeper. Or do we need diplomas for road sweeping too? :/ DAMN! It sucks being a girl sometimes. They won't accept me as a construction worker. NOOO!! My future is ruined. :(
Alright. I'm just really crapping I know but for once, I really don't want sem exams to end. SEM EXAMS ENDING MEANS THE TRIP TO CHINA IS COMING AND HELP ME IF I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT.
I'm deathly afraid of China. Deathly! I don't know what I'll experience there. I don't know what I'll even feel there. The thought of being stuck with no internet scares me a lot. WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS IN THE FANDOM AND I DON'T KNOW?! :(
-sighs-
And I'll kind of lose contact with my family and friends.. I wonder what will happen then. Hmm.. Especially when my friendships with certain people has been fragile as of late. :/ Kinda worrying huh? I should just not go China damn it. I'm a total social wreck.
And my Chinese is so lousy these days even a frog can speak better Chinese than me. A BLOODY REPTILE IS BETTER THAN A HUMAN LIKE ME. I can proceed to die of shame now. :(
Recently Grace (cassie) and Suuswen have been saying that I whine a lot. I see. I don't know what to say for myself. To think that this word 'whine' is being associated with me thoroughly disgusts me. Yet, I can't deny the fact that I'm whining a lot these days. GOD DAMN! AMELIA JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP OKAY? :(
Okay. I'm done ranting about shit lol. I don't even know what I'm saying these days. Go home Amelia, you're drunk. Oh wait. I'm already home. DAMN. I'm just a tad insane. Hmm. Maybe I should just check myself in the world's best hotel ever: IMH
Sounds like a plan.
:D
“Sometimes, reaching out and taking someone's hand is the beginning of a journey. At other times, it is allowing another to take yours.”
― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration
Saturday, August 10, 2013
rant: Elsie's way
So here I am blogging my life away while there they are, studying on a Friday night. I suck, lol. I'm barely through with my China Studies assignments. There are three freaking emails I'm supposed to write and two questions that I HAVE to answer which out of all I only did my three emails. They practically only comprised of 5-10 sentences. Way to go for content man, Amelia!
-deep sighs-
Anyway, let me try to blog like Elsie and actually describe or tell you guys what I did today. Hmm. Went to MOF early in the morning since Cassandra was working in the morning and delivered her her Ribena. After that, met with Elsie and we just hung out at her house and studied.
It's been a while that I last went out with Elsie haha, but borrowing her words from her blog, "One thing I can tell you is that out of everyone in my life the person I'm 100% sure who will never walk out on me is you. You are rarely with me, but with one call you'll definitely fucking appear. You're the friend I see the least of but the one that I'll put my most confidence in."
I agree with her on that. I have no doubts that if I ever need any help and I call on Elsie, she'll be there for me. I guess there's really something different about the friendship between primary school friends and other friends huh? :)
I'm glad I've met so many people though. :') Comforted like fuck HAHA! Alright, just in case you guys are confused about which friend is which, here's a brief summary of my current group of friends I usually hang out with.
(it will do you well to remember their names since it'll be easier for you if I ever refer to them in my blog posts haha.)
Cassie friends: Suu Swen, Alicia and Cassandra (There are more but this 3 are the more prominent ones)
Secondary school friends: Shimin, Sien, Nena, Sheryl, Yilian, Tingwei and Michelle.
Primary school friends: Winnie and Elsie
MOF friends: Eunice (the rest I shall not mention since I'm not close to them anyway)
Quiznos friends: Daphne, Weihua and Aishah ^^ (they're really nice people, except for the one in the middle, Jk!)
Temasek poly friends: Justin, Bryan, Huini, Grace, Vincent, Nelli, Carity and Stacy
Yups. I think that's about it for now haha? I can't remember if I have any more other group of friends that I've neglected heh. :) I know. When I list it down like that, it really seems like I have a lot of friends. However, that's really not the case, haha!
Still, all these friends I've listed here are all friends that I'm comfortable with and are able to joke around together. I'm really blessed now that I think about it huh? I have such a WIDE circle of friends. :D Oh shit! I forgot to include Vivian in! SHIT SHIT. Alright. Updating my friends over here..
Cassie friends: Suu Swen, Alicia and Cassandra (There are more but this 3 are the more prominent ones)
Secondary school friends: Shimin, Sien, Nena, Sheryl, Yilian, Tingwei and Michelle.
Primary school friends: Winnie and Elsie
MOF friends: Eunice (the rest I shall not mention since I'm not close to them anyway)
Quiznos friends: Daphne, Weihua and Aishah ^^ (they're really nice people, except for the one in the middle, Jk!)
Temasek poly friends: Justin, Bryan, Huini, Grace, Vincent, Nelli, Carity and Stacy
Church friends: Vivian
Yeps. That should be it. :) HOGC people are really friendly though. XD It'll be great if I were to join that church officially huh? They're really nice people and for once I don't feel like I don't belong anywhere lol. YAY ME!
Now, to reply to Elsie's post about me..
Hello? I'm not as mature as you think haha! Compared to Stacy, Cassandra and Carity, I'm really nothing. My outlook on life is pretty negative if you ask me but if that's what you like who am I to say anything haha!
Oh, let me emphasize this: I am in NO WAY strong nor independent, and I have BARELY scratched the surface of problems that are to be experienced while living in this world so no, I have not faced many problems. It's kinda funny that you're jealous of my family when I'm jealous of yours. Oh, and my school? Wth is there to be jealous of TP lol? You could have entered TP if you wished too haha!
TUBA? Don't get me started on that instrument. I can't play no tuba man! Do I look like I can play the tuba? Sighs. Band. Band. Band. I have so much mixed feelings towards that CCA now. A HUGE part of me still loves my tuba, I won't deny that. I know Shimin always gives me the skeptical look when I say that I don't like band. She thinks I'm lying to myself. 60% of the time, she's right. Other times, I'm firm in denial. I can't go back to band anymore, at least that's what I promised myself due to reasons unknown to me too.
I can't remember why I actually made that promise not to go band. I just remember that emotion being overwhelmingly filled with sadness and desperation that I really blocked it out of my mind and now I don't really remember what it is. I have an inkling and an intuition but if you ask me, I really don't want to know. I LOVE being in denial thank you very much.
WORK WHILE STUDYING? Hahahahahaha. *laughs* What am I compared to the gazillion people out there who actually work to earn their own living? It's really not that fantastic as it sounds okay? You can do it too, Elsie! As long as you're determined enough, you also can do it!
It's not that difficult as it seems, contrary to popular opinions.
Alright, now this is going to sound like some loser bitching about her life lol. Believe it or not, I actually am quite happy with where I am right now, haha. :) I was thinking to myself just now on my way back home and the thoughts I've been thinking these few days came over me again.
This time, I had an answer though.
"It doesn't matter what I'm living for or the purpose I'm living in this life. What matters most is the number of lives I've impacted and the goal I have in doing so."
As long as I have contributed my part to my friends, family and pets, I'm contented. That's why right now, I'm satisfied.
I've already been blessed so much, how much more can I ask for.
#gratitude.
"Being happy is not easy, but neither is it difficult. Being emotionless? Now that's a tough nut to crack."
HAHA! The cat's really cute though. Alright. I've gotta go to bed. Eyes barely opened. Nights!
-deep sighs-
Anyway, let me try to blog like Elsie and actually describe or tell you guys what I did today. Hmm. Went to MOF early in the morning since Cassandra was working in the morning and delivered her her Ribena. After that, met with Elsie and we just hung out at her house and studied.
It's been a while that I last went out with Elsie haha, but borrowing her words from her blog, "One thing I can tell you is that out of everyone in my life the person I'm 100% sure who will never walk out on me is you. You are rarely with me, but with one call you'll definitely fucking appear. You're the friend I see the least of but the one that I'll put my most confidence in."
I agree with her on that. I have no doubts that if I ever need any help and I call on Elsie, she'll be there for me. I guess there's really something different about the friendship between primary school friends and other friends huh? :)
I'm glad I've met so many people though. :') Comforted like fuck HAHA! Alright, just in case you guys are confused about which friend is which, here's a brief summary of my current group of friends I usually hang out with.
(it will do you well to remember their names since it'll be easier for you if I ever refer to them in my blog posts haha.)
Cassie friends: Suu Swen, Alicia and Cassandra (There are more but this 3 are the more prominent ones)
Secondary school friends: Shimin, Sien, Nena, Sheryl, Yilian, Tingwei and Michelle.
Primary school friends: Winnie and Elsie
MOF friends: Eunice (the rest I shall not mention since I'm not close to them anyway)
Quiznos friends: Daphne, Weihua and Aishah ^^ (they're really nice people, except for the one in the middle, Jk!)
Temasek poly friends: Justin, Bryan, Huini, Grace, Vincent, Nelli, Carity and Stacy
Yups. I think that's about it for now haha? I can't remember if I have any more other group of friends that I've neglected heh. :) I know. When I list it down like that, it really seems like I have a lot of friends. However, that's really not the case, haha!
Still, all these friends I've listed here are all friends that I'm comfortable with and are able to joke around together. I'm really blessed now that I think about it huh? I have such a WIDE circle of friends. :D Oh shit! I forgot to include Vivian in! SHIT SHIT. Alright. Updating my friends over here..
Cassie friends: Suu Swen, Alicia and Cassandra (There are more but this 3 are the more prominent ones)
Secondary school friends: Shimin, Sien, Nena, Sheryl, Yilian, Tingwei and Michelle.
Primary school friends: Winnie and Elsie
MOF friends: Eunice (the rest I shall not mention since I'm not close to them anyway)
Quiznos friends: Daphne, Weihua and Aishah ^^ (they're really nice people, except for the one in the middle, Jk!)
Temasek poly friends: Justin, Bryan, Huini, Grace, Vincent, Nelli, Carity and Stacy
Church friends: Vivian
Yeps. That should be it. :) HOGC people are really friendly though. XD It'll be great if I were to join that church officially huh? They're really nice people and for once I don't feel like I don't belong anywhere lol. YAY ME!
Now, to reply to Elsie's post about me..
"I love your maturity, your outlook on life and how you're living so strong and independent despite facing so many problems. Your family, friends, school. You don't break down that easily"
Hello? I'm not as mature as you think haha! Compared to Stacy, Cassandra and Carity, I'm really nothing. My outlook on life is pretty negative if you ask me but if that's what you like who am I to say anything haha!
Oh, let me emphasize this: I am in NO WAY strong nor independent, and I have BARELY scratched the surface of problems that are to be experienced while living in this world so no, I have not faced many problems. It's kinda funny that you're jealous of my family when I'm jealous of yours. Oh, and my school? Wth is there to be jealous of TP lol? You could have entered TP if you wished too haha!
"You're an inspiration and you can play a tuba. I still can't play an instrument.
And you manage to work while studying. That's fucking great. My mom was going on about how wonderful you are. I'm so lazy that I'm lazy to even try and find a job.
God I sound depressing when I'm supposed to cheer people up."
TUBA? Don't get me started on that instrument. I can't play no tuba man! Do I look like I can play the tuba? Sighs. Band. Band. Band. I have so much mixed feelings towards that CCA now. A HUGE part of me still loves my tuba, I won't deny that. I know Shimin always gives me the skeptical look when I say that I don't like band. She thinks I'm lying to myself. 60% of the time, she's right. Other times, I'm firm in denial. I can't go back to band anymore, at least that's what I promised myself due to reasons unknown to me too.
I can't remember why I actually made that promise not to go band. I just remember that emotion being overwhelmingly filled with sadness and desperation that I really blocked it out of my mind and now I don't really remember what it is. I have an inkling and an intuition but if you ask me, I really don't want to know. I LOVE being in denial thank you very much.
WORK WHILE STUDYING? Hahahahahaha. *laughs* What am I compared to the gazillion people out there who actually work to earn their own living? It's really not that fantastic as it sounds okay? You can do it too, Elsie! As long as you're determined enough, you also can do it!
It's not that difficult as it seems, contrary to popular opinions.
Alright, now this is going to sound like some loser bitching about her life lol. Believe it or not, I actually am quite happy with where I am right now, haha. :) I was thinking to myself just now on my way back home and the thoughts I've been thinking these few days came over me again.
This time, I had an answer though.
"It doesn't matter what I'm living for or the purpose I'm living in this life. What matters most is the number of lives I've impacted and the goal I have in doing so."
As long as I have contributed my part to my friends, family and pets, I'm contented. That's why right now, I'm satisfied.
I've already been blessed so much, how much more can I ask for.
#gratitude.
"Being happy is not easy, but neither is it difficult. Being emotionless? Now that's a tough nut to crack."
 |
| #depressed |
HAHA! The cat's really cute though. Alright. I've gotta go to bed. Eyes barely opened. Nights!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Quotes
Tingwei's way of comforting people: Spamming quotes and URL lol! Thanks though. :DD
Sharing a quote that makes a hell lot of sense.
Sharing a quote that makes a hell lot of sense.
Emo Rant: Jealousy :/
For starters, if my blog post only consists of a song or lyrics, most likely it's cause I'm emo or whatever shit. Don't worry though, I seem to have a pretty high recovery rate these days LOL! I guess I'm kinda feeling happier these days? I don't know. I'm just more.. contented, I guess?
I still feel despair sometimes though, and I get scared shitless easily. Still, I really believe that there is a reason to everything. If not for my grandmothers' deaths, would I have became more appreciative of life? Hardly. I'll still probably be the bitch that I was a few years back. If not for this course, I would never have played with stray cats. I would never have learned so much from them.
I love one sentence that Cesar said. I can't remember if it's Cesar or Jackson but one of them say this:
You don't get the animal you want. You get the animal you need.
I totally agree with that. Going to Cassandra's house and working with her dog has really opened my eyes to the truth within myself. I am scared. I am not calm nor am I assertive. The truth hurts but Cassandra's a better person to train her dog than me. I feel sad everytime I leave her house or talk to her. Cassandra's like Carity, they don't grow up in the best of circumstances but they are just so strong and so determined. They know what they want in life. As of me, I know nothing..
As life progresses, I can't help but feel scared, afraid and terrified of my future. I used to look forward changes, now, I shy away from them. Fear creeps onto me and before I know it, I'm scared. I'm pathetic that way huh?
That's why when you told me of the possibility of that friend of mine being jealous of me, I couldn't believe it. What's there to be jealous of me? My grades are worse than hers. My future's more bleak than hers. I really don't understand what she can be jealous of, if she even is in the first place.
I guess a lot of my friends think that I'm good with people or something since I seem to have a lot of friends. They couldn't be further from the truth though. Do I really have that many friends? Even if I do, doesn't it mean I've been hurt countless of times. What's there to be jealous of?
Jealousy.. This emotion truly destroys friendships huh? After the whole fiasco with Sien, I've came to a conclusion: It's okay to be jealous of someone. You can't help what you feel after all. What matters the most, in my opinion, is how you react to the situation.
If I say I'm not jealous of my friends, I'll be lying. I'm super jealous of my friends. SUPER.
I'm jealous of Shimin's hair and eyes.
I'm jealous of Sien's friends, her personality, everything etc.
I'm jealous of Nena's intelligence, her bubbly personality etc.
I'm jealous of Tingwei's looks, her ability to play the piano, her house etc.
I'm jealous of Yilian. I'm jealous of the fact that she has a passion, that she has something she really loves. (Judo)
I'm jealous of Michelle. Her grades are awesome. Can I swap mine with hers?
I'm jealous of Elsie. She thinks she's dumb but I think she's really smart. I'm jealous of her Jap, her Eng, her figure now.. and just her. Jealous of her.
I'm jealous of Stacy. She's so mature.
I'm jealous of Carity. Her life may be filled with ups and downs but at the bottom line, there will always be someone there for her.
I'm jealous of Cassandra. Her work attitude.. everything about her screams maturity, feminine and just awesomeness.
I'm jealous of Alicia. She's really cute and really a nice nice girl.
I'm jealous of Suuswen. She never seems to run out of confidence, of calm and assertiveness.
See? I'm human too. I have feelings. I get jealous. I get envious. I get mad, angry, sad and depressed. My life's far from perfect, but that's cause I'm NOT perfect. My main point is just this: It doesn't matter if you're jealous of someone or not. Your REACTION is the one that matters.
I still am jealous though. :/ I'm really jealous of others' abilities to handle dogs and cats. I mean look at me! I suck at every practical. I'm failing as a Vet Tech.. WHAT AM I EVEN DOING IN THIS COURSE? I'll cause more harm to the animal than healing it.
:(
Then this question starts to run in my mind when the night's looming..
What am I even good at?
Somehow, I always manage to steer myself to this question when I'm walking back home alone. Then, after thinking about it long enough, I get really really sad and I'll just stop thinking about it altogether, shoving it to the back of my mind.
Cause till now, I still can't find an answer to that question, and that really sucks.
Celeste has her niche. She knows her niche. I don't. I wish I did. Maybe then studying this shit wouldn't be so tough. Sien, Michelle, Stacy, Carity and Nelli always assume that I'll score well no matter how badly I do. I don't okay? And even if I do, I suck at practicals so that's a moot point.
Cause what matters is the practicals, not the theories.
Tell me, if you witness a dog having fits, which is more helpful? Actually helping the dog through actions or just staring at the dog while reciting the theory off your head? Which is more applicable? The theory, or the practical? Obviously every sane person would choose the practical right?
If I suck at practicals, it doesn't matter how well I do in theories. I'll still fail as a Vet Tech. I'm already failing as one. I can't even cut Cassandra's dog's nails for Heaven's sake. *rage* AND THE ONLY REASON WHY I CAN'T IS BECAUSE OF THIS IRRATIONAL FEAR THAT'S HOLDING ME BACK. I wasn't even this terrified with Seven, wtf.
I'm disappointed in myself. I can't help it. Why am I so, for lack of better word, dumb? -_________- I wish there was something I was naturally good in lol. Damn. Now the 'emo' words are all coming out again. Okay.. -STOP!-
Let's go onto more positive stuff.
There's AIMM lab tomorrow and I'm working.
(You seriously thought I was going to say something positive? Dream on~)
And I'm gonna end this abrupt post here cause I'm getting sad for some reasons. :/ Screw you emotions!
Byebye!
I still feel despair sometimes though, and I get scared shitless easily. Still, I really believe that there is a reason to everything. If not for my grandmothers' deaths, would I have became more appreciative of life? Hardly. I'll still probably be the bitch that I was a few years back. If not for this course, I would never have played with stray cats. I would never have learned so much from them.
I love one sentence that Cesar said. I can't remember if it's Cesar or Jackson but one of them say this:
You don't get the animal you want. You get the animal you need.
I totally agree with that. Going to Cassandra's house and working with her dog has really opened my eyes to the truth within myself. I am scared. I am not calm nor am I assertive. The truth hurts but Cassandra's a better person to train her dog than me. I feel sad everytime I leave her house or talk to her. Cassandra's like Carity, they don't grow up in the best of circumstances but they are just so strong and so determined. They know what they want in life. As of me, I know nothing..
As life progresses, I can't help but feel scared, afraid and terrified of my future. I used to look forward changes, now, I shy away from them. Fear creeps onto me and before I know it, I'm scared. I'm pathetic that way huh?
That's why when you told me of the possibility of that friend of mine being jealous of me, I couldn't believe it. What's there to be jealous of me? My grades are worse than hers. My future's more bleak than hers. I really don't understand what she can be jealous of, if she even is in the first place.
I guess a lot of my friends think that I'm good with people or something since I seem to have a lot of friends. They couldn't be further from the truth though. Do I really have that many friends? Even if I do, doesn't it mean I've been hurt countless of times. What's there to be jealous of?
Jealousy.. This emotion truly destroys friendships huh? After the whole fiasco with Sien, I've came to a conclusion: It's okay to be jealous of someone. You can't help what you feel after all. What matters the most, in my opinion, is how you react to the situation.
If I say I'm not jealous of my friends, I'll be lying. I'm super jealous of my friends. SUPER.
I'm jealous of Shimin's hair and eyes.
I'm jealous of Sien's friends, her personality, everything etc.
I'm jealous of Nena's intelligence, her bubbly personality etc.
I'm jealous of Tingwei's looks, her ability to play the piano, her house etc.
I'm jealous of Yilian. I'm jealous of the fact that she has a passion, that she has something she really loves. (Judo)
I'm jealous of Michelle. Her grades are awesome. Can I swap mine with hers?
I'm jealous of Elsie. She thinks she's dumb but I think she's really smart. I'm jealous of her Jap, her Eng, her figure now.. and just her. Jealous of her.
I'm jealous of Stacy. She's so mature.
I'm jealous of Carity. Her life may be filled with ups and downs but at the bottom line, there will always be someone there for her.
I'm jealous of Cassandra. Her work attitude.. everything about her screams maturity, feminine and just awesomeness.
I'm jealous of Alicia. She's really cute and really a nice nice girl.
I'm jealous of Suuswen. She never seems to run out of confidence, of calm and assertiveness.
See? I'm human too. I have feelings. I get jealous. I get envious. I get mad, angry, sad and depressed. My life's far from perfect, but that's cause I'm NOT perfect. My main point is just this: It doesn't matter if you're jealous of someone or not. Your REACTION is the one that matters.
I still am jealous though. :/ I'm really jealous of others' abilities to handle dogs and cats. I mean look at me! I suck at every practical. I'm failing as a Vet Tech.. WHAT AM I EVEN DOING IN THIS COURSE? I'll cause more harm to the animal than healing it.
:(
Then this question starts to run in my mind when the night's looming..
What am I even good at?
Somehow, I always manage to steer myself to this question when I'm walking back home alone. Then, after thinking about it long enough, I get really really sad and I'll just stop thinking about it altogether, shoving it to the back of my mind.
Cause till now, I still can't find an answer to that question, and that really sucks.
Celeste has her niche. She knows her niche. I don't. I wish I did. Maybe then studying this shit wouldn't be so tough. Sien, Michelle, Stacy, Carity and Nelli always assume that I'll score well no matter how badly I do. I don't okay? And even if I do, I suck at practicals so that's a moot point.
Cause what matters is the practicals, not the theories.
Tell me, if you witness a dog having fits, which is more helpful? Actually helping the dog through actions or just staring at the dog while reciting the theory off your head? Which is more applicable? The theory, or the practical? Obviously every sane person would choose the practical right?
If I suck at practicals, it doesn't matter how well I do in theories. I'll still fail as a Vet Tech. I'm already failing as one. I can't even cut Cassandra's dog's nails for Heaven's sake. *rage* AND THE ONLY REASON WHY I CAN'T IS BECAUSE OF THIS IRRATIONAL FEAR THAT'S HOLDING ME BACK. I wasn't even this terrified with Seven, wtf.
I'm disappointed in myself. I can't help it. Why am I so, for lack of better word, dumb? -_________- I wish there was something I was naturally good in lol. Damn. Now the 'emo' words are all coming out again. Okay.. -STOP!-
Let's go onto more positive stuff.
There's AIMM lab tomorrow and I'm working.
(You seriously thought I was going to say something positive? Dream on~)
And I'm gonna end this abrupt post here cause I'm getting sad for some reasons. :/ Screw you emotions!
Byebye!
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