Just a moment

I tried to write lyrics to the piano piece. Ended my lyrics after 2.00.

(for Nelli and any other suicidal teen out there...)

(my horrible lyrics)

It’s the waves that crashes against me

and the sea as it drags me beneath,

with the smiles and the joy that mask me

as I drown in the death of my dreams.

It’s the war that goes on in my head

the gunfire seems never to cease,

and the wounds and the scars mark me

a battle with no victory.

Cry when I try to fight

Breathe as I die inside

It’s just a moment in time.

Leave all the pain behind

Start a new day tonight

Give me a moment to shine.

And today I’ll promise I’ll live, I will fight and break free from this.

As the days go on and I try and believe that everything will be fine

If I could just take a moment to… (x2)

And today I’ll pursue, all the dreams I had overdue

As time pass me by I will see, that the stars shine so bright

when I took a single moment to breathe. (x2)

To live..

To breathe..

In time..

You’ll see… (x2)

Just a moment.

Smile

it is sad that the only way to understand these kind of disorders, is to have to go through it yourself first. It hurts. It’s agonising.

Not EVERYONE in the world goes through intense feelings like that. I’ve been ‘normal’ recently, I know how normal feels like. And the kind of sadness and anxiousness in ‘normal’ feels NOTHING like how I did when I’ve been in depression. Yes, they use the same words to describe it. But depression is CHRONIC. Anxiety is INTENSIFIED A MILLION TIMES. I know, they are NOT what normal people have to go through.

EVERYONE feels scared at some point of time. Insecure. Sad. But it’s not the same as what majorly depressed people have to go through. We struggle literally EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY, whether things had been good or bad to us. We’re chronically bugged by the demons in our heads and more.

Directly quoted the above text from Nelli's blog. I won't lie. I can understand her, perhaps in ways I don't really want to sometimes.

Truth to be told, my bad days are nearing my good days these days. I try not to blog when I have bad days though. I don't want any more negative or 'emo' posts in my blog. Yet, it doesn't deny that I'm feeling this way or that I'm struggling with such negative thoughts.

I remember this quote that says, "Happiness is a choice."

That's utter bullshit. When you're feeling like crap, that quote doesn't help at all. Happiness doesn't feel like a choice. It feels like a damn chore. What is the purpose of happiness? Where will happiness lead me? What's the point of feeling happy now when I'm sure it'll be gone later?

I try to reason with myself sometimes but like Nelli, I just can't persuade myself to do anything, you know? Getting out of the house is a chore. Getting out of the bed is pointless. Even buying myself food is just beneath my efforts. Smiling feels worse than dying. Breathing has lost its meaning.

I just don't want to escape my dreams sometimes. Dreams are the only times I feel my demons wouldn't come and haunt me. It feels great when I'm in them, even though most of the time I'm dying in them, but that's okay. It's still better than the reality I see.

Then, as soon as those negative thoughts arrive, they disappear and leave nothing but bitterness and anger in me. I get so annoyed with myself. Why am I so attention seeking? Why am I so easily affected by what others say?

I remember we were playing a game called True Colours with Si En, Nena and Shi Min the other day. The game works like this:

There's a stack of cards on the table. Questions are printed on both sides of the cards. Each player can take turn in choosing a card. Then, the players are supposed to answer the question printed on the card drawn. Each player is only allowed to pick one or two players in their answers.

It so happened that one of the question was this: If you can take a friend to travel the world in 80 days, who will you take?

And when the results were revealed, no one chose me. I don't know why I got so upset either. After the game ended, I went home in silence. I couldn't figure out my thoughts and it confused the fuck outta me.

Was I sad because I didn't get chosen, or was I sad because I expected to not get chosen?

Don't get me wrong. Si En, Shi Min and Nena are wonderful people and amazing friends. I truly appreciate them in my life so I don't blame them for anything. 

I blame myself.

Why am I so hypersensitive to everything? Why is it that the slightest word or remark by my friends or families can affect me so deeply? I hate the fact that I'm vulnerable. I hate the fact that I'm weak. In the end, I hate everything about me.

I still can't write stories. It seems like I've exhausted the words in me. I have inspirations but when I stare at my Microsoft Word document, they don't flow out of me anymore. I read my past stories and I feel such a sense of hatred and despair towards my works that I just want to obliterate them from the world.

But I can't be fucking stuck in this sense of despair or hopelessness everyday. I've got to learn to stand up, take a deep breath and keep fighting on.

:)

Someday, we'll all smile again.

P.S. Nelli, You've gotta keep fighting on man. Even if you think no one's caring, even if you feel like you're a burden to someone else, you still gotta go on.

Life is tough in many ways. I think you're already experiencing that. There's won't be any rainbows appearing any time soon, but there's always happiness everyday. It's just a matter of quantity, or even quality.

You just gotta hold onto that small amount of happiness and tell yourself you're contented with that. If you're feeling 98% of sadness, tell yourself that life is good 'cause you felt 2% of happiness today instead of none. If you don't feel happy at all, then tell yourself that life is good because even though you don't feel happy, you still chose to live and believe that happiness will come.

And if you think that you're cowardly 'cause you don't dare to die, well, think of it this way, if you don't kill yourself today, you're giving yourself courage to live for tomorrow.

Depression sucks and it's hard fighting your mind sometimes. It's even more difficult to believe in something that you cannot see but you know what, if you keep trying, you'll find more happiness each day!

Let's give each other courage to fight on okay? 

I love you.

On the days that you feel like you can't carry on, remember the song I wrote for you:

You’re crying

And I just don’t know what to do

I don’t know how to make it alright

You’re smiling

But I know how you feel inside

I know that it’s just a mask

How do you save someone who doesn’t want to be saved?

How do you tell them that it’s okay?

How do you save someone who doesn’t care if they’re dead?

How do you tell them that you love them?

No matter what I say

I know you won’t believe me

I know that you think I’m lying

I try so hard

But I watch you slip away

And I’m thinking maybe it’s time

I don’t know any other way

I wish I could just make you stay

Because it hurts, it burns

It consumes within

And now you’re lost

But I can’t save you

How do you save a friend who doesn’t want to be saved?

How do you show them that you care?

She doesn’t believe me

She doesn’t take me seriously

I wish I could tell her I care

I wish you would believe me that I care

ciaos~ :)

fanaa

“I DON'T CARE!" Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!" 

"You do care," said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. "You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” 

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Tell me about that night,

When your innocence was lost

And never found again. 

Tell me about that time,

When your blood ran cold

and froze your heart solid. 

Tell me about that second,

When your soul fell apart

and the pieces were never recovered. 

Tell me about that moment

When your light was put out

And never relit.” 

— K.E. Adarra

"Wait a second,

Why should you care, what they think of you

When you're all alone, by yourself

Do you like you? Do you like you? 

You don't have to try so hard

You don't have to give it all away

You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up

You don't have to change a single thing." 

— Try, Colbie Caillat

Underoath - Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape

I heard a voice through the discord

Of a deluge of passersby.

I saw one gaze frozen in time

Watching me passing by.

I swear I'll know your face in the crowd,

And I'll hear your voice so loud

When you're whispering...

Hey unfaithful I will teach you

To be stronger, to be stronger.

Hey ungraceful I will teach you

To forgive one another.

Here's my kiss to betray

Desperate to brush the lips of grace.

Do you feel hollow when you think of how I've lied?

Oh sweet angel of mercy with your grace like the morning

Wrap your loving arms around me.

Oh sweet angel of mercy with your grace like the morning

Wrap your loving arms around me.

dates

This post is going to be exactly what the title says; a bunch of dates to remind myself on what I've planned. (since I always seem to forget them)

22/7 - 24/7 : NTU Campers Crusade camp

25/7: Joey (my cousin) 21st party

26/7: Church plus SG Cat Museum

1/8: Jackson Galaxy (OMGGG!)

2/8 Celestial's 1st year party

3/8: NTU Epiphany

5/8: NTU HSS talk

Alright. That's it. By the way, I have a dayre account so check that out if you wanna see me blog about random insignificant things. Ciaos~

P.S. Yes I am aware I'm using my blog as a planner.

gaelic: language of magic

The language of flowers has always fascinated me as a young kid, just like how the tales of faeries, elves and pixies amazed me (especially those that originated from Ireland). Even till now, I long to study it. Even as a small little child, one of the countries I've always wanted to visit the most was Ireland. 

Just like how taken Nelli is with Greek mythology, I am equally as fascinated with Celtic beliefs. As a child, I believed in them. I loved the idea of magic; another world in existence that was entirely beyond my comprehension. 

One of the things that the Celts believed in was that spirits existed in everything you see; living creature or not. Spirits existed in rocks, in rivers, in the sound of rushing waters and in the depths of dark and eerie caves. That bit just fit in nicely with my preconceptions of the world around me. It may seem stupid to you but I've always loved nature as a kid. I never failed to shower at 6pm everyday because it was only then that the sun would set here. I would watch the sunlight reflecting off the water droplets of my shower head and pretend I was bathing at some gorgeous waterfall in the Amazon forest. In my imagination, there were rainbows in the sky, birds chirping on the branches as I soaked my hands in water and let the peace overwhelm me.

(Yes, I had an overactive imagination as a young kid. That bit never changed.)

The Celts also didn't have a really efficient education system. Instead of teaching their kids by books, learning was solely done through story-telling and illustrations. Rarely were words documented in books. In fact, ancient Celts do not have a written language at all. That makes it so confusing for present scholars to decipher the artefacts left behind!

In any case, one of my favourite sayings from the Irish (Irish now cause Celts (their predecessors) as I mentioned earlier has no written language) is this:

"Dá fhada an lá tagann an tráthnóna."

No matter how long the day, the evening comes. 

(No matter how bad things are, they will end)

It's just a really uplifting saying and I really love the language itself hahaha. Gaelic (the language) is really complicated cause there's the Irish Gaelic and there's the Scottish Gaelic. Urgh. Moreover, it isn't as easy to master as it looks. Different time periods uses differents forms of the language. Now, it's just a jumble of the ancient languages. I don't even know which is which anymore. 

Some simple words would probably be this:

1. Water: Uisge 

2. Fire: Teine

3. Earth: Talamh (Fun fact: mh is equivalent to 'w' in their language)

4. Air: Adhar

5. Love: Gràdh 

6. Hate: Fuath

7. Dream: Bruadar

And of course, what would I be if I did not research on their profanities as well. Let me tell you, the Irish are extremely creative with their insults:

1. May the devil make a ladder of your back bones while picking apples in the garden of hell!

    Go ndéana an diabhal dréimire de cnámh do dhroma ag piocadh úll i ngairdín Ifrinn!

2. May the cat eat you and the devil eat the cat!

    Go n-ithe an cat thú is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat!

3. There's nothing worse than a standing prick.

    Níl Tada Níos Measa Na Bód Ina Seasamh. 

(Found this off a Youtube video. I liked how she described it: Most insulting sentence you can say to or about someone - The more casually you say it, the more offensive it is.)

4. ‘Off with the Devil, big bum’ (literal), meaning ‘Fuck Off You Fat Arse’

Téigh Dtí Diabhail, a thóin mór

The normal curses:

1. Dickhead: Cúl Tóna

2. Slut: Ráicleach

3. Cunt: Aiteann

You guys are so welcomed LOL! 

Alright, last part and I'm ending this weird entry HAHAHA. I really love Gaelic names so I'm gonna share a few with you and conclude this post.

Aloysius: Light

Myrna: High-spirited, festive

Fial: Modest, honourable, generous

Sloane: Warrior

And for Nelli's sake, Niall means cloud or passionate. 

Alright. That's it. Bye~

"May your journey be successful.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

the rain fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

may God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Go n-éirí an bóthar leat.

Go raibh cóir na gaoithe i gcónaí leat.

Go dtaitní an ghrian go bog bláth ar do chlár éadain,

go dtite an bháisteach go bog mín ar do ghoirt.

Agus go gcasfar le chéile sinn arís,

go gcoinní Dia i mbois a láimhe thú."

heart no 2 -> Alicia

"Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier."

- Mother Teresa

Remember design number 2 that I did yesterday? Well, I gave it to one of my Cassie friends (acquaintance) named Alicia. Through her social media (Instagram and Facebook), I've inferred that she is suffering from some form of mental disorder. I don't know the extent of it but I do know that she's plagued by it everyday. It's similar to how Nelli is/was I guess. That's what really moved my heart to reach out.

So, today, I just randomly decided to visit Alicia at her workplace and passed her what I made along with some DBSK stuff. When she received it, her face was so touched she was actually rendered speechless. Seeing that tentative smile on her face, somehow, it was all worth it, you know? 

Here is the text she sent me after I left her workplace:

And later on her instagram:

It's so amazing that this is really happening. Even if this project fails through in the end (which I think it will), I'm still thankful that at least, I've managed to touch the heart of one person (two if you include Nelli). YAY! :D

#fa;th

fa;th movement

Sometimes, I get the craziest ideas ever; like dreaming to start a suicide awareness campaign and creating a movement to remove the stigma and stereotypes of people who suffer from addiction, depression, anorexia, bulimia or any kind of mental disorder.

I tentatively named the movement the 'fa;th' movement and aim to create as many plushies (DAISO) as I can for people around me whom I know suffer from a mental disorder themselves. I can not do much for these people. I can't fight their battles for them but what I know is this: I can encourage them in their wars as they battle against these illnesses everyday.

Still, this whole idea just seems so idealistic and unpragmatic. I question myself constantly and can't help but doubt myself for it. Do I think this idea is possible? The cynical and practical side of me says no. I won't be able to finish what I want to do. Yet, I can't help but want to try. I want to at least let the people out there know that they're not fighting alone. We're all in this together.

Sighs. All I'm praying right now is for God to really bless me with patience and determination to see it through. I'm scared I'll give up. I always lack the passion and determination to do things properly. All I can do now is pray; pray that I'll continue to believe, pray that something good will come out of these ideas that are running through my head.

I've always wanted to do a project like this, but I've never mustered my guts up to do it until I saw the 'Always Keep Fighting' project done by Supernatural fans for Jared Padalecki. It showed me that the idea of one fan can spur others to do the same and make a great change in this society.

Singapore lacks awareness in the mental health and yet, no one's stepping up to raise awareness for this alarming statistics that are growing throughout the years. We're so accomplished as a nation, yet, we're ranked 47th among all the countries in the world with one of the highest suicide rates ever. You know what's more scary? An increasing trend is seen in teenagers committing suicide as compared to adults. The average age of people who commit suicide have increased from a range of 30 - 40 years old to 20 - 30 years old. It's no longer mid age crisis. It's teenagers' crisis and somehow, that scares me even more.

I guess it's only after I read up on all these statistics that I really feel an urging in my heart to start advocating for all those teenagers out there who are suffering in silence because they do not dare to voice out how they feel, or are afraid of telling someone else. No one should be afraid of seeking professional help but in Singapore, everyone would do ANYTHING to escape the negative stigma of being in IMH. It sucks and I fucking hate it.

I read a quote last time that said something like this: If you want to see a change in the world, you've gotta be that change in the world.

I hope I can live up to my own expectations, otherwise, I think the failure of this project will consume me. :(

By the way, I'm thinking of starting a website to share stories of everyone who has been through such negative thoughts in life. I'll need to find a way to maintain the anonymity of the source but is anyone interested in sharing their stories? I think it'll be a great way for everyone to connect to one another! :)

Of course, I'll share my story on the Internet as well. I don't mind disclosing all details LOL. I kinda really wanna transform this whole negative experience into a positive one. :)

Nelli's reaction when I told her about this project just spurs me to work harder:

A few days ago Amelia was telling me about this suicide awareness thing that she’s been working on and I think it’s rather sweet. 

The both of us had been dealing with depression and shit for some part of our lives and we both know how it feels, it will mean alot to the others battling with the same issues. She made me a keychain, she stitched it herself, it was in the shape of an anchor and she stitched a heartbeat pattern on it, and the words Fa;th after it.

Amelia said it is her slogan (you can see from here how much it means to her too) and the fact that I’m the first person she gave it to makes me so touched tbh. There is even a story behind it. 

Anchor, anchoring you to life.
Heartbeat, self explanatory.
Faith, that eventually everything will be okay.
Semicolon (;), telling you that your story haven’t yet ended. 

I am so touched by it, for a moment I feel love. That she sincerely wanted me to stick around because she needs me. 

Bitch please Nelli, nobody needs you, don’t overthink haha. Everything will still go well without you. 

I wish I could join her in this fight, I really wish I could. But the most part of me just wanna die everyday, I’m already dead inside for the most part, I’m having trouble in everything I do, I just.. 

I just don’t know what to do anymore… 

Right now tears are threatening but they’re not the bound-to-fall type. They dry up within seconds. That’s the closest now that I can come to crying. 

Gods, take me where I could be happy.

Of course I gave it to her first for a reason, she's one of my friends whom I know are really in deep deep, y'know? And I want her to know that she's not fighting alone. None of us are.  That's why the heartbeat is necessary.

You battle with your mind everyday and I know how tiring it can be. Sometimes, it doesn't even feel like a victory at the end of the day and you start to hate the sound of your breathing but what I want you to know is this, because of that little 'heartbeat' sign you see in front of the word 'fa;th'; those seven strokes that make out a heartbeat on an ECG; your friends and family are happy as fuck and thankful as hell that you're alive. Your heartbeat doesn't matter to you but to many others, they're the world. I just want you to remember that.

The rest are explained by her already hahaha. Alright. Pictures of the two designs I've come up with. Please take a good look at them and provide me with valuable feedback.

this one was given to Nelli

And I'm hoping to make enough to give out on 10 September which is World Suicide Awareness Day. Wish me luck~

#fingerscrossed

Always Keep Fighting

I'm a huge fan of bromance between actors so I've always been keeping an eye out for the bromance between Tyler Posey & Dylan O'Brien and Jared Padalecki & Jensen Ackles. Imagine my surprise when I learned about the 'Always Keep Fighting' (AKP) campaign that Jared launched to increase awareness of depression, addiction, self-harm etc.

Upon further research, I realised that Jared himself suffers from depression. (He was diagnosed with clinical depression.) I was shocked and horrified at the same time. I didn't know how to feel since I always assumed that actors or actresses that were famous are always happy and cheery, you know? He looked fine. I guess I thought wrong.

What's touching besides the project that he started with Jensen (AKP) is that the fans had actually arranged a little mini surprise for Jared at Comic Con this year.

Quoted from this article and this article:

Jared Padalecki got a touching surprise at Comic-Con on Sunday when "Supernatural" fans held up lights in Hall H to support Always Keep Fighting. 

"I didn't know at first what it was," Jared told Access Hollywood on Sunday after the panel. "I had no idea. … I was like, 'What's going on here?' At first, I thought people were holding their iPhones up and like recording. And then, as I looked… I was like, 'Wait, these are lights.' And then, someone dropped off a light, with the note and explaining what it was." 

The note, which came with the battery operated tealights, asked fans to hold them up "when signaled," "to show the people who inspire us & the community we've built, what we can accomplish together." 

"I just want to say thank you, so much," Padalecki told us of his message to the fans who organized the candle surprise. "It's stuff that I have dealt with and I'm still dealing with so it means so much to me. I hope the fans feel support from me the way I feel support from them. I love them all very much. I really do. Fight for each other. Love each other. Always keep fighting." 

I really was so touched when I saw the video. :') It's amazing what fans will do for their idols sometimes. Actors and actresses go through a lot of tough shit when they're filming, the greatest of all being the distance they are away from their families. I can't imagine being in a foreign land away from all my friends and families so I really salute them for doing this for us fans.
By the way, here's the video:

The surprise is probably around 35 mins or so. Just watch out for the cast's reactions. It's really remarkable. :')

I guess what I really like about this project is the note that came with the tea lights that were shining that day.

"Everyone is given a candle that burns just for them. When your flame flickers and you fear it will go out, know not even the strongest wind lasts forever; and there are other lights to guide you even in the Darkness…And when your candle burns bright, you can ignite the hearts of others and hope will spread like wildfire…Always Keep Fighting, and you'll never fight alone."

This is literally so meaningful I'm bawling my eyes out. I just feel so touched by everything, you know? I'm really happy that in recent years, mental illnesses are gaining more recognition in the world and more campaigns such as the AKP campaign or #semicolonedu are coming up! 

By the way, in case you don't know what #semicolonedu is, well, here's a rough explanation:

#semicolonedu is a hashtag used by Project Semicolon which began in the spring of 2013, when Project Semicolon Founder, Amy Bleuel wanted to honor her father whom she lost to suicide. Through the semicolon symbol many related to the struggle of depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide and their will to continue on. The title, “Project Semicolon,” also represented a goal – to believe that this is not the end but a new beginning and to serve as an inspiration to all.

If you're asking why they chose the semicolon to be their symbol, well, here's why:

"A semicolon represents a sentence the author could have ended, but chose not to. That author is you and the sentence is your life.

By writing a semicolon on your wrist, you are making a promise to yourself that it is ok to reach out and seek for help… stand up for you or anyone you know who has depression, anxiety, has self harmed or has contemplated suicide and help our peers, our friends and our family know that we speak up for them and that we stand up against Mental Health and the stigma that’s attached to it."

I found it so beautiful the first time I heard about it. If I ever want to get a tattoo one day, I'll get one with the word 'faith' on my wrist with the letter 'I' replaced with a semicolon. It really reminds me to constantly keep the faith and keep fighting.

Battles with your mind are often lonely and agonising so I think it really helps when there are movements like these to remind these people that they're not alone, and that everyone loves and cares for them.

I'll end with another organisation that promotes suicide awareness: To Write Love On Her Arms.

This organisation is really humbling to me because it started out from a story just as relatable to you and I. The founder, Jamie Tworkowski, did not set out to start a nonprofit organization when he initiated this. All he wanted to do was help a friend and tell her story. 

When Jamie met Renee Yohe, she was struggling with addiction, depression, self-injury, and suicidal thoughts. He wrote about the five days he spent with her before she entered a treatment center, and he sold T-shirts to help cover the cost. When she entered treatment, he posted the story on MySpace to give it a home. The name of the story was “To Write Love on Her Arms.”

And that was how it all began.

The link to that story is here.

I guess the aim of this whole blog post is to draw attention to depression in general and to remove all stigma from people who chose to be brave and seek help when they needed it. According to statistics in Samaritans of Singapore (SOS), one person is lost to suicide everyday. That means 365 people die in Singapore because they chose not to get the help they needed; just because of the stupid stigma that comes with admittance into the Institute of Mental Health.

Isn't it sad that we, as a first world country, judge people for needing help and only provide ONE suicide prevention centre to help these people?

Upon a recent talk I had with my sister, she mentioned that the world spent too much attention on gay rights and marriage equality that no one would talk about the issues that matter the most, eg. human trafficking. And as an avid supporter of gay rights and marriage equality myself, I couldn't help but agree that sometimes, we're lacking focus on the issues that matter. It's not that gay rights or marriage equality doesn't matter. They do, and I'm happy that they've won the fight, but now, it's time to shift our attention to some other issues to ensure that they all get equal recognition.

Examples such as suicide prevention or human trafficking. We have a 'Pink Dot' movement to promote LGBTQ+ rights, but we don't have a movement to raise mental awareness, human trafficking, cancer or drug addictions etc.

The question we can all ask ourselves is this: What are the issues that matter and what are the issues that don't? What wars need to be fought, and what wars don't need to be fought right now?

Perhaps I'm biased because of my personal experiences, either way, raising awareness of mental health in Singapore has always been one of my goals in life and one I hope to see accomplished.

I wouldn't say more but if you have the time, take a look at this article written back in 2014 and you'll see what I mean.

and remember, you're not alone, so always keep fighting. :)

diy backpack (with horrible proportions)

Today's my eldest sister's birthday. Being a naturally kind sister that I am, I asked her what she wanted for her birthday. Yeah. I'm not fabricating lies. I actually bothered asking her. So, she requested for a backpack but since she wasn't specific enough, well, I turned to my felt cloths from Daiso for inspiration and for once I actually recorded the process of DIY-ing down. Since Vincent says that it seems like my DIYs just appear like magic, I'm here to disprove him.

Step 1: Draw out a rough design of how you want the backpack to look like

Sorry for the terrible image quality by the way. My phone camera sucks. (Yes, I will change it next year grrr.)

Step 2: Cut the template out! (after drawing the template, obviously.)

Step 3: Use the template to cut out the cloth! In my case, I used blue cloth. (my sister likes that colour)

Step 4: Picture how you want them to look.

Step 5: Sew them pieces together.

Step 6: Puncture them with something sharp and cut dem holes out to insert the string in!

Step 7: Cut a bigger version of the original template to make the lid of the backpack. (like an opening flap) and sew it on! Best done in a different colour from the backpack.

Step 8: Cut straps of a different coloured cloth to make the straps of the backpack.

Step 9: Sew the straps on the backpack! (I added a handle too!)

Step 10: Sew the ribbon on to attach the opening flap to the backpack! (I used a ribbon cause I lost my buttons. D:)

AND YOU'RE DONE! :DDDDDDDDD

A side view so you can see how horribly wrong I was about the proportions. Conclusion: Bags have rectangular bases, not square ones.

Alright, that's it for this post. Happy birthday to my sister and I hope she enjoys this troll gift HAHAHAHAHA.