Dreams

Went for church today. Quite an enlightening experience? I am now more assured of God's love in me and I've become stronger in my faith. :) Happiness will come to people who are willing to bear the wait, so I will wait, and I will bear with it. YAHOOOO~

Oh, and I didn't blog about my last day in MOF did I? HAHA! Totally forgot about that. Hmm, what can I say? It's fun, it's happy, and we're all a family. ^^ I don't know why, but ever since I joined polytechnic, I've become really more optimistic of life. Sure, I will still curse and swear occasionally, but I've realised that I'm generally much more happier and content with my life. Yes. That's the key word here. Content.

It's such a simple word; it only comprises of seven letters, and yet, it's very difficult to accomplish. Can you truly look in the mirror at yourself and tell yourself that you're content with your life? Can you look at your past mistakes and regrets and say you're content leaving them be? Can you look at the pieces of your life right now and say you're content?

I guess not. Many of us in this present world are so concerned about making money and supporting ourselves that somewhere along the way, we forgot about our dreams, and the precious courage we once had.

When I first told my mother that I wanted to become a veterinarian, she laughed at me. She said this,"You? A veterinarian? Don't make me laugh." Now, don't judge my mother based on this one sentence okay? She was just expressing her opinion. However, what she didn't know was that I am determined to become one.

O levels came, and my results were released. Once again, I brought up the topic of becoming a veterinarian and taking my present course Veterinary Technology, and that's what she say to me:

That course won't get you any money. It's unpopular. Don't take it.

Perhaps she was thinking for my own good, but at that point of time, I couldn't help but wonder why she was not encouraging me to follow my dream. Shouldn't I, her daughter, being ambitious be encouraged? Shouldn't I be applauded for my courage? Why was I being discouraged instead? Why did I find myself being dissuaded? I really couldn't comprehend.

When did we learn to forget about our dreams? At which point of our life did we lose the courage to pursue what we love? It's really ridiculous! We all have dreams. We all have things that we love and want to do, but we are all stopped by this common thing: Money.

Is it worth it in the end? I frequently think to myself. Sacrificing your dreams for money, is it worth the pain, worth the emptiness, worth the depression? How many times did we fervently wish that we could turn back time and redo everything? How many times had we cried at the regret for our broken dreams? How many times had we looked back and wish that we can undo all our choices or mistakes?

I told myself, band is time-consuming and if I join it, my studies might be affected as I might not have enough time to study. Thus, I stopped band. In the end? I just felt more empty, and totally lost the mood to study.

Without dreams, we'll all be nothing. After coming to polytechnic, I've finally reached to that conclusion. Dreams are important to us. If we give up on our dreams, we having nothing to fight for anymore. 

It is my dream to become a veterinarian and thus, I will work hard to become one. Yes, there may be thousands of obstacles standing in my way, and my life may be enshrouded in darkness most of the time, but no matter what, I will try my very best to overcome them. However, even if I fail, well, at least I can proudly say that I've tried.

Don't ever give up on your dreams, people! If you do not have a dream, you have nothing. You are just living life aimlessly. Don't become like that! Everyone has a goal in mind, and everyone deserves a chance at happiness. Work hard for your dreams even if the path is filled with thorns and you'll gradually realise that with the goal in mind, the thorns will slowly fade out of your vision and that all you'll be left with would be the sweetness of your labour and the success of your dream coming true. 

DON'T GIVE UP! There's always hope in the most darkness of places, and life in the most empty shells. As long as you have a positive mindset, anything and everything is possible! ^^ Alright, shall end here. BYE!

在这黑暗的世界里，我们要努力不要让自己迷失了找寻梦想的路。因为当一旦没有了梦想，我们就算拥有了多少钱，我们永远也不会满足。

STUDYING plus PHOTOSPAM! :D：Ｄ

Yo! Today's been a real productive day man! First, I woke up at 8am to meet Michelle at Ang Mo Kio library to study, but being the typical people that we were, we both were late, HAHA. In the end, we just decided that we would study in Macdonalds.

So now, what did I study? Well firstly, I did Maths Stats Tutorial which ｉｓ　ｂａｓｉｃａｌｌｙ differentiation and integration and after that I revised Human Anatomy Physiology (HAP) and even maｄe my 　ｖｅｒｙ　own notes. I can't even begin to tell you how cool is that subject man! :) I learnt some really cool anatomical terms to describe common things. For example, axillary means armpit while gluteal means buttocks. HAHA! Now you know what I mean when I say your axillary stinks and that your gluteal resembles an elephant. ^^

Anyway, back to my main entry. (I seemed to get side tracked a lot huh?) Today was a real productive day and I completed like half of what I'm supposed to do. YAY! HAPPY ME! :) HAHA. I just couldn't resist that bit of Singlish. ^^ Oh! Now it's time for photos.

So yes, these are the photos of Michelle and I ｔｈａｔ I forced her to spam photos with me cause I wanted to show off her new hairstyle. HAHA! CHIO RIGHT? I really think someone becａme prettier ever since she ｅｎｔｅｒｅｄ poly. *AHHHEEEMMM* I feel so ugly next to her, haha.

I mean seriously, now that I think about it, my friends around me always seem to be prettier than me. No, I do not have low self-esteem. Okay, even if I have it, that's not the point. The point is this, I always seem to like hanging out with people prettier than me. Why is that so man? Tingwei and Yilian's cuter than me, Michelle's much kinder than me, Shimin, Sien and Nena have more personality, and Elsie's actions are just plain darn cute. This, in fact, still applies to my poly friends. Check my poly friends out!

 

 

Left to right: Alien, Eugenia, Christel, Rena and Nelli.

DAMN IT MAN! They are all so pretty~ :( *self esteem level immediately drops below negative*

Left to right: Nikki and Alien.

NIKKI IS SO FREAKING CUTE I TELL YA! :D :D :D She's my buddy mate for aikido. YEEHAW!

Left to right: WHO-IS-THAT-SHIT and Jessabel.

OHOHOHO! She's my Japanese cultural club mate and my french cultural club mate. :) TOTALLY AWESOME WOMAN! :) She's so like me in so many various ways that it was like I could instantly cliqued with her. ^^ It reminds me of how well Michelle and I clicked together when we first met each other. X)

OF COURSE, among all the wonderful coursemates I have, the closest I am is to this person called Nelli. For the sake of people who don't know her, (*roars of protest from primary and secondary school friends* HOW WILL WE KNOW HER!!) I shall post a photo of me and her up:

Left to right: -CENSORED- and Nelli.

YES. That's her! The famous Nelli who so happens to be my closest coursemate, study buddy, toilet buddies along with Nikki, CCA buddies, fellow gossiper and whatever else that you can think of. She is an awesome girl man! :) Can totally go crazy with her~ When I'm around her, I don't have to pretend to be anyone, and that to me is a HUGE relief. 

You don't know how much I hate pretending to be someone that I'm not man! :( It's like, what's the point of pretending? What's the point of acting like you're someone you're not? Eventually, the truth will come to light and everyone will just hate you more cause you can't even be true to yourself.

If there's one thing good about me, I would say that it is my integrity and my loyalty. My friends can probably tell you how 'loyal' I am and how I don't lie. Yes, I do white lies, but as time goes on, I'm starting to not see the benefits of white lies. I mean, what's the point of covering up the truth with lies? Yes, you lie cause you don't want the other party to be hurt with the truth, therefore it's a 'good' lie and should be applauded. But you know, I once had this friend, and she said this:

A lie is a lie no matter what. Don't tell me that white lies are good or deserve to be applauded cause essentially, you're just doing this to assauge your own conscience and not because you really care for the person. If you really care, you will not lie. Instead, you will tell her the truth and allow her to be hurt so that she learns her lesson. You will be with her every step of the way, guiding her when she's lost and encouraging her when she's down. That, to me, is a true friend.

When I heard her say that, I knew in my heart that what she said was true. What's the point of classifying lies into 'white' and 'black'? A lie is a lie no matter what and lying implies that there is a lack of trust in the relationship. For example, I lie to my parents when they ask me for the reason why I return home so late in the night cause I don't trust that my parents will forgive me if they knew the truth. See? It's all about trust. (By the way, I don't. That was just an illustration.)

Someone once said that trust is like a mirror, once broken, it cannot be repaired. I agree with that statement. I have close friends, sure, but if the trust between us is broken, then I'm very sorry, but we can never return to being close friends ever again. That is just how it works for me.

Woh woh woh! I know what you're thinking! Does that mean that you'll never forgive that person if that person ever betrays your trust? No. You are wrong. I will forgive, but I will remember, and it will leave a mark on our friendship. Pick Sheryl for an example, we both have been close friends for 4 years now, but have you seen me talking about my feelings with her these days? My true deeper inner feelings? No. I don't talk to her about that, cause she has betrayed my trust more than once and to be honest, I don't trust her anymore.

Time can heal all wounds, I agree, but time can never make one forget. Just like how it can't make me forget all those happy memories I had if I don't want to, it simply cannot erase the past scarring experiences that happened that made me so fearful of trusting someone. It works both ways, unless you've got amnesia of course. That will be a whole new different story.

Anyway, back to my main point. Trust is a valuable thing to me. If you break it, well, you can't get it back. I'm a fair person. I give chances. However, please, don't abuse it. You don't want to see me when I get real mad. I will really become a flying alien that destroys everything in her path.

Okay. Why the hell am I even talking about this? This is so random man! Haha! I better change the topic before it gets any weirder. Now, what was I saying again? Oh! I remember! I was talking about how I always mix with friends prettier than me. Well, it's a weird habit I guess, but if I gain awesome friends, why not, LOL?

So yes, duly presenting a photo that my so AWESOME friend Nelli took of me while I was waiting for the closing ceremony for Week 0 to start:

THE PRODUCT OF WAKING UP EARLY IN THE MORNING TO GO TO SCHOOL EVERYDAY!

Anyway, this weird entry is ending here cause I'm sleepy and I haven't done my HAP tutorial yet. Do check in regularly for more updates! ^^ WEEEEE~

P.S. Should I join karate? :)

P.P.S. Who's free on labour day? PLEASE CONTACT ME OKAY! Then we can meet up! ^^ YEEEHAAAWWW!

你对我所拥有的较高要求我达不到，对不起。
但你要知道，人不是完美的！只有犯错了后，人才会学会坚强和忍耐，就如懿莲所说的，只要能熬过去现在，将来一定能雨过天晴！^^ 我们一起为梦想迈力吧！加油加油加加油~ ^^

UPDATE!

YO! Haha. Omg. There's so much things to update you guys about. :D I can't possibly summarize it into this blog post!! ^^ Anyway, I was talking to Michelle yesterday and guess what? We really caught up a lot!!! I'm like so happy! Cause I've been feeling that I've neglected my secondary school friends these days so I'm really glad we had this opportunity to catch up.

So yeah, Michelle and I talked and talked and talked and I realized the reason why I was updating this blog every single day. At first I thought I was doing this cause I was afraid you guys are bored and so you'll have something to read if I update my blog everyday. But after talking to Michelle, I realized the true reason why I was updating this blog: to let ALL my friends be up to the latest news as to what's going on in my life.

Yes! I do know that it's unrealistic to hope to meet up as often as the past, therefore, we definitely will drift apart and not be updated about one another lives. Therefore, that's what's this blog is for! ^^ SO YES, I'M GONNA UPDATE THIS BLOG EVERYDAY SO THAT YOU GUYS CAN BE UPDATED ABOUT EVERY SINGLE THING IN MY LIFE. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!! :) :)

Okay okay, on to the main point. These days, well, there've been lectures lectures and lectures and surprisingly, there's even a lecture that I like!!! Guess what it is? ;)

HUMAN ANATOMY PHYSIOLOGY!! ^^

GOSH! It's so nice. It's like biology all over again. Today I learnt homeostasis and even though I hated it in secondary school, I actually find it okay in poly! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!! :D :D I'm so so so HAPPY!!!! :) :) It's really really my favourite lecture!! :)

Of course, with the interesting lectures present, there's always the BORING lecture, and that is none other than PICP! What is it? Basically it's inorganic chemistry, and it's FUCKING boring! GOSH!! :( I DIDN'T KNOW CHEMISTRY CAN BE THAT BORING!! AHHHHH~

But really, I think I'm sort of used to polytechnic life? Yeah! In fact, now that I've realized that my dream is to be a vet and that there are people around me who share the same dream as me, well, you don't know how AWESOME that feeling is. Besides, our class is considered quite bonded so I'm really happy that I'm in Temasek Polytechnic. I will never regret it. Ever.

Still, there's lots of work piling up and for the first time in my life, I can say that I'm gonna make a study schedule and hopefully follow it so that I won't drown in this sea of homework. :) I've chosen to take part in a lot of CCAs so if I don't manage my time well, I'll die! X-X 

Oh yeah! Speaking of this, Michelle's idea is really excellent. She actually suggested that we meet up every Saturday to study and catch up with our lives. TOTALLY AWESOME IDEA! That's it man, Michelle! We're study buddies~ ^^

So yup, that's it. This is the end of the blog entry. I have to warn you guys though, don't be expecting long entries all the time. Sometimes, if I'm very tired, I'll probably only type a sentence out and that's it, but don't worry, I'll try my best! The main point after all is this: I JUST WANT TO INFORM YOU GUYS OF THE LATEST HAPPENINGS IN MY LIFE!

OH! I attended the French Cultural Club and GCC annual general meeting today and I've come to the conclusion that I'm gonna continue attending these two clubs! YAY ME! Also, I'm going out to study with Michelle tomorrow and I'm working at MOF from 6-10.30 also so you can drop by if you have the time. ^^

BYEBYE!

其实，要开心也可以这么容易的！只要你积极地面对人生，什么事也难不到你！我们一起加油吧！^^

drawing competition

YOYOYO! Gosh! I'm super happy today cause I FINALLY went home early today! ^^ So so so HAPPY to reach home at 6.30pm today! :) YAY! MEGA AWESOME! (although I skipped judo tryouts.)

BUT STILL..

I'm really tired okay?? Anyway, this is what Nelli and I did when we were bored during PICP lecture. WE HAD A DRAWING COMPETITION!!! :D :D :D

Now, first... object of competition is.... TOTORO!

SO yes.. NOW ARE YOU EXCITED? HAHA! Must vote okay?? And tell me which one look more like. ^^ Alright, coming up first.. NELLI'S:



1.





 2.

3.

 

TADA~ SO how is it? ROFL! Does it look like? Will you vote for it? Is it simply fantastic or an insult to the name of art? YOU ARE THE READERS, YOU DECIDE! Now, time for my one..

1.

2.

3.

WOOHOO~ SO HURRY AND DECIDE FOR YOURSELFWHO IS THE WINNER! :) And so, the competition begins..

(Gonna end my entry here so that there's gonna be an impact! :) but I just want to say that today is really a HAPPY school day for me. SO YES, GOODBYE)

HURRY AND VOTE NOW!

英Chinese

今天的部落格将用华语写，因为现在最能形容我的心情的语言就是它。唉。。不懂为什么感觉我自从进了理工学院后就很少跟中学的朋友来往了! TT 再这样下去，我好怕我们都成了陌生人了叻。当初我还讲什么大话说不能忘记对方，没想到最先忘记朋友的人竟然是我！我还真的很欠揍啊！

呜呜。。就拿昨天来做个比喻吧，我竟然完全忘记明天就是Nena的生日啊！我连礼物都没有买到呢！TT 想想都觉得好惭愧哦。。我怎么当朋友的啊！交了四年的朋友了，还不记得她的生日。。真该撞墙！>< 啊啊啊啊啊~

不过讲真的，刚刚在回家的路上，我好好的反省过了。究竟是现在的朋友重要还是以前的朋友重要？人究竟应该追着自己的理想跑，还是静静地为自己的将来打算，不要那么的冲动。这些问题，我还是没有答案。人说，跟着心走，绝对没有错！我说，跟着心走，保证没饭吃！:(

好啦，开玩笑而已，不必当真。不过，我确实被这件事情困扰了很久。到现在，我还是不懂我究竟应不应该参加乐团。一来，我爱它。因为有了它，我的生活变得多姿多彩，无忧无虑。二来，音乐能安抚人的烦躁情绪，将一整天的压力全都松懈了下来，那又何乐而不为呢？可是，虽然有那么多那么多的好处，我无法不承认乐团难免会占据了我大多数的时间，使我无法专心读书考好成绩。

所以，我又回到了原点。。

究竟是学业重要呢，还是兴趣较多？我实在是搞不懂。。唉。。走一天算一天吧！正所谓桥到船头自然直，我也只能静静地等待解决的方法出现，不是吗？唉。。现在已临晨一点了，我再不睡的话，明天一定起不来，所以今天就到此为止吧！下次见！:)

 English:

Today's blog will be written in Chinese because I feel the language best describes my feelings now. Oh. . I don't understand why ever since I entered the Polytechnic I had very little dealings with my high school friends! TT This cannot go on like this, or I fear we will become strangers to one another. In the beginning, I was still talking about how we definitely can not forget one another and yet, I did not expect the first one to forget her friends to be me! I'm really asking for a beating!

*cries*. .Just take yesterday as an example! I actually completely forgotten tomorrow is Nena's birthday and I did not even buy her any gifts! TT I feel ashamed just thinking about it. Oh. What kind of friend am I ah? We know each other four years already and yet I still do not remember her birthday... I should really hit the wall! > <Ah ah ah ah ah!!

But seriously, just now on the way home, I took the time to look into myself. Are former friends more important than present friends? Should people be running and chasing their ideals or should they be quietly planning for their future and not doing anything on impulse? These questions, I still cannot find an answer. People usually say, follow your heart, and nothing will go wrong! I say, follow your heart, and that can guarantee that you will have no means of living for sure! : (

Well, I'm joking so do not take it seriously. However, I was indeed troubled by these questions for a long time. Now, I still do not know if I should or should not participate in the band. Firstly, I love it. With it, my life became colorful and carefree. Secondly, music soothes the nerves of people and slackens the pressure off the person's shoulders, so why don't I just join it? However, although there are so many benefits, I can not help but admit that band will inevitably occupy most of my time, such that I can not concentrate on my studies and get good test results.

So in the end, I'm back to square one...

Sighs. Are studies more important or passion? I really do not know. :( Now, the only thing that I can do is to live life in its moment and let the worries sort themselves out. After all, I can only wait until it is quietly resolved, is not it? Oh. . Now it's already 1am in the morning! I need to sleep as I must get up early tomorrow, so I shall call it a day now! See you next time! :)

Credits: Google translator

DISCLAIMER FOR SIEN!

Alright, this post basically is to explain that Sien was so called 'innocent' in this whole fiasco I had with her that time. Yes, her words were this: You can't blame me. I'm innocent. I cared.. blah blah blah etc.

HELLO MISSY, YOU NO SAY HOW I KNOW!! :( Stupid misunderstandings for no reason. :'( PSSSHHHH!!! Anyway, I'm sorta lazy to explain how INNOCENT she is so you've just gotta believe me when I say she is. I keep telling her I wrecked her reputation, haha! But you know something, the truth is, I never wrecked hers at all. Hers remained untouched so Sien ah, HAPPY? You're still PURE and INNOCENT in all of my friends' eyes. :)

So yes, now that this is cleared up, let me describe today's life to you. Lecture early in the morning Organic Chemistry. I was still half awake HAHA. We were mainly covering the basics though, and surprisingly, my knowledge gradually returned. YAY! TAKE THAT CHEMISTRY! :D :D

After that we went and get our lecture notes, lab coats and finally onto the main point, CCA RECRUITMENT DRIVE! GOSH! I was really freaking excited la! All the seniors promoted very well that I just signed up for most in the end. SO HAPPY!! :) :) Alright, here goes..

1. Band
2. Student Union
3. Community Service
4. Go Green Club
5. Japanese Cultural Club
6. French Cultural Club
7. Judo
8. Karatego
9. Fusion Percussion
10. TP mentor Club
11. TP writers Club
12. Entrepreneur Club
13. Aikido

SUPER COOL RIGHT? I didn't sign up for archery in the end though. Was kinda lazy to walk over to the archery booth. HEEHEE. :) Okay guys, I need a favour from you.. WHICH CCA SHOULD I GO? O.O I signed up EVERYTHING cause it was SO INTERESTING just to realise now that I have to narrow my choices down. Great. :( WHY WERE YOU SO FOOLISH AMELIA!

So yes, guys, help me out? Anyway, meanwhile, let me move forward. So after CCA fest, I immediately rushed down to Bishan to meet Sien. YAY! Went to her house and played. Erm.. It didn't feel awkward at all surprisingly. (Yes, I was expecting it to be.) AND I HAD A HELL OF A TIME! ^^

OH! A single photo of the day to capture the happiness of that moment..

Yes, I know it looks very dark in the photo and that I look weird in it. Thank you for your nice comments. :) I'll be sure to bear them in mind, but well, since you're reading my blog out of your own will.. SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT! :D HAHA!

Okay, seriously, sorry for the bad quality. My phone camera is just that bad okay!!! :( :( Alright, feeling a bit sleepy le. BYE! (talks so much but still continues using the computer anyway)

我一直觉得自己很可悲，总要往别人的背影追，一刻也不能停下来，否则就会永远失去了机会。但现在我才发现我真的很傻！因为太过专著着于望着你和我之间那遥远的距离，我却从来没有发现你的步伐早已停了下来，而站在终点拍手鼓掌支持我的人竟然一直都是你。。。

回忆不是说消失就能消失的，友谊也不是说变就会变的，至今的我终于明了了。只要你相信，友谊是能永远的！大家一起加油吧！^^

PHOTOS TAKEN

Forgot to upload the photos so here goes.. (it's still Elaine, Sinyan and me) :)

Elaine, Sinyan. me and Jeslin. :) ALRIGHT, that's all. CIAOS!

FATIGUE! X-X

YOYO! Haha. Life today really damn sucky man. I'm like SUPER exhausted right now. :'( I don't know how am I going to last through this three years! I still want to join two CCAs somemore. AARGGH! :( SIAN AH!! Nelli's right man, poly's gonna suck off our social life! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!!!

:'( Alright, so today I had my first lecture in poly life. OMG MAN! It freaking sucks. Firstly, it's maths, so it already gives me a bad impression. Secondly, it's freaking differentiation and integration so it already sucks the life outta me. Thirdly, it has to be completed within 1 week in 2 lectures with 0 tutorials, SO IT'S ALREADY FREAKING ME OUT!

AHHHH!!! Surprising thing was that I could still remember bits and pieces of differentiation and integration though, bad thing is that it's not enough to get me through quizzes and tests. :'( Sighs. AMATHS YOU BITCH! IMMA GONNA CONQUER YOU!!! :( :(

:'( After that was dinner with FOC group so it was not too bad. Heehee. I gotta meet up with Sinyan and Elaine for dinner and overall, I guessed it was an awesome time so yeah, not too bad for a first day in TP. :) However, if you ask me, well, let's just say I'm not really anticipating the next three years in there. I already feel so exhausted now! :'( Sighs. Hate my life before it starts, HAHA!

But one thing I'm quite happy about is the fact that Yilian and Tingwei will still talk to me via Line, Whatsapp and Facebook everyday. :) This way, we won't stay out of contact so I'm like really thrilled! ^^ It's also a good thing to look forward to everyday! :) I'm so happy. WEE~ :)

Anyway, I was walking home from the bus stop when suddenly an inspiration to write a story once again strike me. Don't worry. This time round, I won't tell you guys to read it till the day I've completed it. ^^ Hope it'll be a success though. JIAYOUS AMELIA! :) GAMPATEH!!!!!

Alright, gonna end here cause I need to mug Amaths later. CIAOS! :)

如果故事的结局就因为这样而结束的话，那我宁愿它根本就没有开始过。。

WEEEHA~

YAY! I'm blogging~ Tomorrow's gonna be a start of an awesome day! YES, NO KIDDING! School's starting tomorrow! :) :) I'm like quite excited about studying, haha. I've been too long without it. xD But really man, I have this anticipation bubbling inside me now. Never before have I anticipated studying this much! I guess my passion truly lies in animals. (and music though I'm not studying it.)

Alright, on to the main topic, today's my LAST day of work at MOF! :) :) I was expecting to feel real sentimental and down so imagine my shock when it just felt like any ordinary other day. In fact, it felt like an ordinary BUSY day! Even my manager, Laine, was commenting that it really is a wonderful last day for me! :( THANKS AH CUSTOMERS! Miss me so much that you guys all come here at once on my last day! :)

Okay, enough of my thick-skinnedness. Since today's main topic is off course, I guess I'll just have to change it. SO YES, NO MORE MOF, YAHOOO!! Oh yeah! I also finally read finished the Harry Potter series for the second time. I'm so proud of myself, haha! ^^ Now I can move on to other stories. :)

Heh! My life's been taking lots of turns and finally it's onto a start of another journey in Temasek Polytechnic. Am I excited? Well, I guess I am. I mean, I've already made so much new friends and it hasn't been the official start of school yet. HOW AWESOME LIFE CAN BE!! :)

But still, I cannot help but deny that poly life would surely strain my relations with my primary and secondary school friends. We would not meet up as often as before and gradually, we'll lose contact, and we'll just be strangers the next time we meet. However, though that terrifies me, I can't help but think that if our friendship can withstand the test of time, then it'll be much more stronger than before and will act as a bright flame in times of adversity.

I've got to say this though. Today I was in a real bad mood when I was at work. Don't ask me why; I don't even know it myself. I just suddenly got irritated at everything that I see and everything that I had to do. At that moment, I detested work so much that I scared even myself. I just wanted to have nothing to do with it. I only desired to sulk in one corner and cry. I wanted to let my emotions that I kept concealed tightly in me out. I wanted to be free.

Perhaps it was the dream last night that brought about this, but suddenly I was returned to the past, and I felt like it was a living nightmare. I've already felt it once, and I barely survived. To feel it twice.. Well, let's just say that I would be better off dead in the end.

Okay, maybe I'm taking things too seriously. I mean come on man! It's already been a year, GET OVER IT! Although it sounds real easy, it's still pretty hard to do. Trust me! :( Till now, my greatest regret would be the fact that I never got the chance to tell her that I was sorry, and that the truth was that I love her.

Still, what's life without regrets? Through the pain of it all, perhaps we humans will finally learn from our mistakes. After all, isn't that what we always pride ourselves as? Noble beings who will learn from their mistakes and are innovate and receptive to change. Well, a piece of bullocks I would call it! We are not perfect, therefore we will make mistakes so yes, I don't consider myself as a noble being.

HAHA! That reminds me of something! During drinking, well, they keep teasing me about this guy named Julian cause me and him kept arguing like some old couple. x) I don't know why I'm so random in bringing this up but the first thing that I said to him was that...

Come on! Guess it! It's so unromantic, haha! (Not that there's anything going on between us. We barely can even be counted as friends.)

I TOLD HIM I WAS A FREAKING SEXIST!

OMG, ROFL! When he told me that I promptly laughed my ass out. Way to make a first impression man, Amelia! HAHAHAHAHA~ :) :) But the guys in my course are really pretty cool! Most of them are real gentlemen, so much so that they will hold open doors for ladies to walk past. SUPER COOL RIGHT! I know you're jealous, HAHA!

Okay, enough crapping or this blog post will never end. I shall update tomorrow then about how the first day of school is. ANTICIPATE MY NEXT BLOGPOST, MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

Signing off here. BYE~

当同学们问我有没有喜欢的人时，我发现我还是无法回答“没有”这两个字。未来对现在的我来说还是那么的迷糊，那么的渺茫，就连我即将踏的下一个步我也看不清。但我相信，总有一天我会幸福的，而你也会像我一样找到自己的幸福。不过，在那之前，我只能说一句话：对不起，但我还是忘不了你。

dreams

Hey guys, what's up? :) My life has finally settled down so I'm not that tired anymore. Okay, I'm not supposed to be tired, keyword being supposed, but I still am. Sighs. Despite me saying how fun poly life is, I really kinda missed secondary school life.

I can remember clearly those times when I rebelled against the teachers, causing them to go crazy. I can remember that time when I cried over my amaths prelim results and my friends comforted me. I can remember those times when I had the drive, the motivation to score Silver in SYF 2011. I can remember fighting for my dreams and fufilling them. Sighs. I can only hope now that the drive within me will never die down.

Dreams, to what extent will we go to fufill them? To be honest, I'm afraid of following my dreams right now. I simply lost the courage along the way. Still, I keep telling myself this, you've got to hope, you've got to believe, cause if you don't have both, you have NOTHING.

When you believe by Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey from the soundtrack of the Prince of Egypt describes this very well. The chorus goes like this: 

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It?s hard to kill

Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/mariah-carey-lyrics/when-you-believe-lyrics.html ]

Yes indeed, there can be miracles when you believe, so right now, I'll just wait for that miracle to happen in my future and fufill my dream of being a vet. You know, (it's going to be Christian stuff so skip this if you want) it still amazes me right now the reason why God created the rainbow.

It was created cause God wanted to show Noah after the flood that there would never be such a great flood ever again. It was a promise of trust, a promise for better things to come. I'm so touched by the meaning that whenever I see a rainbow, I feel like it's God's way of telling me that there are better things to come, and that I should just be patient and wait for it. SO YEAH, GOD I'M WAITING! :D

(No more Christian stuff so you can carry on reading le.)

Anyway, back to the main topic, (I don't know how it strayed to like miracles and stuff) I really miss my secondary school friends. Okay, maybe not really miss them until I will die from not meeting them but in the past, we could always meet up very easily. However, now I realised it's practically impossible to meet up!

Our schedules clash like shit, our timings can never merge, and the worse thing is, I'm always busy when they're free. WHAT THE HELL MAN! :( It's been so long since I've last chatted with Shimin, Nena and Sien. In fact, I barely got to meet any of them! :( DAMN IT! Why is it so difficult?? :'(

Sighs. I feel like now I'm being torn apart. A part of me feels like I should just stop trying since it's so difficult anyway but another part of me says that I should not be an ingrate and just give it all my bestest.. :( STILL, DON'T WORRY GUYS, I'M STILL TRYING!

In fact, speaking of that, I would most probably, provided that there aren't any last minute project work on Sien's end, be meeting Sien on tuesday. YAY!!! I finally finally get to go to her house!! ^^ (ever since the Byakuya incident, she has not allowed me to step into her house. She sure bear grudges man!)

SO YAY, I'M AWESOMELY THRILLED! No, seriously, I'm really excited at the prospect of meeting her and catching up with her. To me, there's always this wall between us and right now, I really hope I can breach it. Yet, I can't help but wonder why did we let this wall come between us anyway. She may not notice, but I feel like I can't even talk about my feelings with her anymore. I just.. can't. :'(

That day, when I talked to her, she told me she missed secondary school life, and so being as thickskinned as I was, I asked her if she missed me. She crapped a lot and finally she said she missed me. At that instant, I wanted to tell her that I missed her too, but to my horror, I realised I couldn't. The words just would not type out on the screen! In the end, I switched the topic and we began talking about other things instead.

How pathetic is it if I can't even talk about my feelings with her? Downright pathetic! Perhaps it was only in that instant that I've realised the truth. I don't want to admit it to myself, but deep down I know, I let go of her before she did. I allowed the wall to come in between us; the wall named regret, fear and guilt.

Now, there's so much things I wanna say to her, but I can never ever bring myself to say. Do I regret it? Of course I do, who doesn't? But the bottom line is this, you can't ever stop trying. The moment you stop trying is actually the moment you stop caring. Because you care, you try. Yilian, when you wanted to try for another chance for happiness, I did not think that you were foolish for doing that. After all, that just shows that you care.

Because I still care, I won't stop trying, and because I won't stop trying, my dreams will continue living on. My friends, let nothing trouble you, what's done is already done. Focus on your heart, and sharpen your mind, for the journey to our dreams never end! ^^

There is no destination ahead until you name it. There are no dreams until you seek it. After all, men's greatest treasure of all is the heart for without the heart you cannot do anything.

The only reason why dreams will never die is cause the heart never stops believing. I believe, therefore I will succeed. :)

Alright, ciaos! Tomorrow's gonna be the last day of work and I shall do a final entry for MOF colleagues tomorrow. BYE!

Never stop believing!

LAST DAY OF ORIENTATION

Yo PEEPS! Haha! I feel like ever since I entered poly I keep spending money la! :( Feel like quite bad towards my parents. Heehee. But still, POLY IS FUN, HAHA! :) Okay, before I do a quick summary of today, I'm gonna have to thank Yilian first for what she wrote in her blog. Yes, I know! You're wondering what she wrote in her blog right? Don't worry, I'll paste here for you. :)

18/4
Dinner date at Burger King with Amelia! We just talked like normal and spam photos HAHA
I always like talking to Amelia. She's very enlightening. It feels like after a long day at work, you seek a rest. She provides warmth and comfort.

From Yilian's blog.

OMG! So touched. :'( Aww.. See! My tears already coming out liao la!! *frantically wipes tears away* But really man, I'm really freaking touched that she wrote that. ^^ HAHA! But I can't help but feel that some points are not true leh, like I don't provide warmth and comfort and in WHAT WAY am I enlightening huh!!! :( Please tell me! I need to enlighten myself, haha.

Anyway, today was the last day of orientation for Temasek Polytechnic so naturally, a lot of programmes were lined up for us. First, we had to go to this computer workshop shit to learn about plagiarism and copyright laws. Oh! We even have our own interactive digital media game called Second Life. AWESOME! We all will have our own avatars la!! :) :) Omg. Super happy!! AWESOMENESS!

Well, before we could get down to work, however, we were told to do a quiz to like find out our working styles. My result was that I am a negotiator followed by a animator. Hard to explain what it means but basically a negotiator is one that thinks a lot before they act by comparing past experiences with others and coming to their own conclusions while animators are ones who pride feelings above logic and follow their own instincts and friends' advice. There's also the analyser, who is obviously the one who uses logic on everything before coming up to a solution and also the entrepreneur who just wants to see the result fast and don't really care about the process. So yes, now you know what kind of working style I have.

Anyway, our group consists of Carity, Jessabel, Julian and me. We were all animators so you can imagine how noisy we were right? (They say animators tend to talk a lot cause they need to interact with others.) So yes, we were practically racing for time, haha! But at least, we completed the project! X) YAY!

Okay, after that was lunch which was nice. OMG! The chicken curry with rice is super cheap and the curry is so so so DELICIOUS. It causes only about $2.70 and the serving's quite large. (I think Tingwei won't be able to finish it.) HAHA! So yup, ate lunch with Huini, Eugenia and Nelli. YAY! Lunch was fun cause we were spazzing over pet photos. ^^ FINALLY SOMEONE AGREES TO GO TO THE ZOO WITH ME! *ecstatic* (The good thing about being in vet tech is that everyone loves animals so going to the zoo or even volunteering at animal shelters can be easily arranged. ^^ OH YEAH~)

Alright, so after lunch was like the Regatta, LOL! I'm ashamed to say this but I actually slept most of it away, HAHA! I only woke up to do like cheers, other than that, I was snoozing away. Oops? :P But it was really fun la, it's just that the stuffy and humid weather along with the fatigue made me sleepy so yeah.. I slept!

After Regatta and after clinching the best cheer award, Christel, Joel, Justin, Bernard, Julian, Nikki, Nelli and I went to wait for Rena outside Temasek Polytechnic. Guess what we were going to do afterwards? Come on~ It's not a hard guess... Go on.. :)

YES WE WENT DRINKING! HAHA! It's the most WONDERFUL yet most DISGUSTING experience of my life if it even make sense. Haha! It's like the drinking part is wonderful but the aftermath is horrible. I dry heaved like two times la! URKK. NO MORE ALCOHOL FOR ME! :( I hate you alcohol! :( Now I'm like really drowsy and tired already la. BUT I STILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR MY PHONE TO CHARGE!!! DAMN!! :( :( :(

But it was a real fun experience though. For the first time in my life, I am able to bond with the popular clique, lol. We like really keep going out like that leh. :( My money now keep flying out~ DAMN IT AH~~ :( :( My money.. $$.. :(

So yes, today is a real fun day HAHA! Now to my dearest Yilian, the photo below is for you.

Left to right: Nikki, Nelli and me. :)

Will take more photos with coursemates to show you how everyone looks like. For now, you just need to remember Nelli, LOL. Nelli is like one of my closer friends, haha. So yeah, it's PRUDENT to remember her. HAH! Nikki and me also today got bond closer so maybe you'll need to remember her too. YAY! So thrilled. I'm bonding with everyone. ^^ Alright, tomorrow I've gotta work so my entry is ending here. SAYONARA~