Time for an update~

Actually, no, I'm extremely lazy at the moment, so..

HERE COMES SONGS..

HAHA. Just kidding.

I shan't keep spamming songs on this blog or Tingwei will have to keep skipping the posts, provided she reads my posts, of course.

Hmm.. I actually have not much of an update? Yup, you can say my life turned pretty mundane these days. It's just ALL about studying and slacking..

Still, I guessed I did learn a lot in my 4 years in Mayflower, huh? After meeting Elsie a few days back, I've realised that both of us have changed a lot. We're no longer who we used to be, or rather who we thought we were.

But you know what's amazing? We still could talk like old friends, like we were still very close with each other. In that instant, I guessed I finally understood what this whole clique thing have taught me from the start: Friendships truly do last forever.

We had a lot of problems throughout these fours years right? We used to be a clique together, and I thought we would brave through it all thick and thin..

And then the unexpected happened: Our clique truly did break apart...

And now, what's left of us? What do we become?

I constantly asked myself this question, because I myself want to know the answer. I do not like leaving things hanging in the air.

What an irony though, since it is me who's leaving both Sheryl and Shimin hanging in the air.

I think anybody out there will have the same experience as me at least once. It's just a situation that everybody has to experience:

For example, one has two friends, and friend A doesn't like friend B, so she wishes for you to leave friend B. Friend A forces you to make a choice between her or friend B, and the same goes for friend B.

Faced with a situation like that, who do you choose? Friend A has been loyal to you throughout these years and you've already known her for 6 years. On the other hand, friend B has hurt you thousands of times throughout the 4 years you've known her. In fact, the number of times that she've ever treated you well is so rare that you can barely count it.

Of course, after hearing about the situation, a normal person would choose friend A. But you know, I made a weird choice. Instead of choosing friend A, I chose friend B.

My reason? Hell, I have no idea myself. But you know, because of my indecisiveness, I've caused much hurt to both of my friends, be it the loyal friend A or the friend B who has hurt me countless of times.

Sometimes, I wonder, am I much worse than friend B? After all, the indecisive one is me. The one who caused both of her friends so much hurt by her decisions is me. So in a way, aren't I way worse off than friend B?

And then finally in that instant, I kinda understood what was going on. I did not wanna let either friend go. The truth was, I was just being extremely selfish.

Then, I think about all these four years, and all that had happened, and I can't help but sigh at all the foolish mistakes I've made and should not have made. And then once again, a lightbulb clicked in my head...

"If our friendships can last this long all this while, that must mean something, doesn't it?"

Yilian said that Lili told her that they were friends because they like each other. So, do I refuse to let go of them because I like both friends?

After thinking so long for the answer, I decided to give up on it. What's the point in thinking so much? Must there be a reason why I want friend B to remain as my friend even though she's kinda hateful sometimes? Can't I just want to be her friend?

This is the post I think both friend A and friend B have been waiting for all these while. This is my answer after all these four years of conflict...

I won't force friend A to like friend B, and I won't force friend B to change for me. Friend A is free to choose if she will like to be friends with me anot though I'll admit it, I'll miss her for sure. Friend B, on the other hand, will remain as my friend so as long as I deem fit. It's not a choice for her I guess, haha.

And so I guess this is the conclusion to this long long conflict of friendship. I'm leaving the choice to you guys now.

For friend A, the choice is this: To remain as friends with me even though I've friended back friend B or not?

For friend B, the choice is this: To cherish your friends or not.

I guess this is the answer I've been searching for all this while. Friendship is a precious thing, it cannot be broken so easily, I believe. If it does, then it's not true friendship, and all you've been living for all this while is just a lie. No bonds exist between you and that person, and you both are just trying to drain each other out; making use of each other. In that case, it's rather like two bloodsuckers going at it, right?

'I don't believe in eternal friendship.'

'All things have to come to an end soon whether you like it or not, so why take friendships seriously? '

'What are friends worth anyway? Won't they all just leave you in the end, like the memories shared never existed?'

That was what I always believed in, until I met friends who changed my life upside down. Like a revolution, my world went spinning and my mind was in a whirl before they finally settled down, and I was filled with this warm feeling in my heart.

Friendship is truly amazing, and thanks for making me experience the wonders of friendship. This post is thereby dedicated to all of my amazing friends. :D

thanks for being there when I needed you guys the most..

P.S. Tingwei, be happy okay? You finally have something to read about! ^^