bad prelim results

Despite studying quite hard for Prelims, my results were really terrible. I think today is really one of the most depressing days ever. Seriously.

I failed Amaths, 42/100. Usually, I'll be jumping for joy that I didn't get an F9. But after all the effort I've put in, I just feel like jumping off a building. NOW, I get why people are suicidal.

Sighs. It's just one more month, can I really perform a miracle? I don't want to just get a pass grade on my paper you know, I want an A!! :'(

Man. This really sucks. And it is not only amaths that has lousy results, my other subjects ain't any better too.

And so, thinking about all that, I can safely say that today is the first time I really cried over my results. Last time, no matter how upset I am, I would just shed a few tears here and there and that's it. But today, I really cried.

From the bus trip till I reached home, I think I wasted about an hour crying. It was kinda comforting that my friends were messaging me to cheer me up even though they probably didn't know that I was crying at that point of time. Haha. I guess it's good to have friends around you? You won't really sink into depression as you have one another to support one another.

And so, after crying, I think I felt so much better. It was only after really crying my heart out that I finally took my pen and started doing back amaths. I decided there and then that I'm not gonna concentrate on doing the other school papers, but rather the O level Ten Year Series.

IT'S MORE EFFECTIVE FOR WEAKER STUDENTS LIKE ME. Still, I think it's kinda discouraging when she talked about the dropping subject matter again. As teachers, ain't you supposed to encourage your students and not discourage them? At least, I always feel discouraged after I talked to her, and so far to my knowledge, everybody feels the same way as me.

Today is really a learning point for me, I guess. Mr Gad is right. Anybody out there can study hard. In fact, the whole Singapore is studying hard, so what makes you any different from them? How do we distinguish the distinctions from the passes?

It's all about studying smart, and not hard. He said that if your chemistry marks are bad now, it means that your studying method is wrong. Great. One month till Os and I find out that my studying method is wrong. Just plain great.

On the other hand, I won't really say that I'm very pessimistic at the moment. I've decided to work hard, but play hard at the same time. It won't get me anywhere if I feel overstressed, which is totally what I felt today.

The hardest thing to do is pick yourself up from where you fell and carry on...

It's not going to be easy, no one said it would.

BUT IT'S GOING TO BE WORTH IT! That's a definite guarantee.

Till then... GAMPATEH! :D

I was once disappointed in you, but now, I don't even expect anything from you.