Gonna be blogging because... just because lol. I don't know what to say too. I'm just gonna rant I guess? I don't know anymore. A question: Have you ever felt like you've known someone for like forever until the next instant you turned and it's like you've practically become strangers, like she's not the person you remembered?
At least that's how I feel as I look upon her now. I feel like we're distancing, yet I know this distance is a result of my actions. I guess I just don't know what to feel anymore. I don't know how to approach her. I don't know how to talk to her. I don't know how to interact anymore. If time turned a few months back, I would have known what to do but now, I don't know a thing.
I feel sad. Oddly, it feels like I've lost a piece of me in her. It's weird, but it's true. Normally, if the person who wrongs you get his/her final deserts you'll be happy right? The truth is, I'm not. I don't think I will ever be anyway. It's weird but that's just how it is.
Onto more positive thoughts, I have not done any of my assignments except for my tutorials which is pretty dumb of me since my tutorials are not the ones graded but my assignments are. How smart and talented of me, lol! I'm a genius! :)
I feel like I'm at crossroads at this point of my life. Every choice I make is gonna directly affect my future, my relationships with my family members and of course, my friends. It's gonna be a matter of time when my mom just tells me to stop fangirling over DBSK altogether. I dread the day coming. In her opinion, it probably looks like her daughter's just off the bonkers. I mean, I'm making my life difficult for no apparent reason.
She can't understand why I've stopped going to church. She can't understand why I'm working. In simpler words, my mom understands nothing about me. To be honest, it ain't even her fault. I haven't shared anything with her at all! I didn't tell her anything I deemed as unimportant which is actually important to her. Heck. Me didn't tell her when I got burned by sulfuric acid cause I know she's gonna worry herself endlessly for no fucking reason when I'm perfectly fine.
And I hate medicine okay? I don't know why too! LOL! Perhaps it's more accurate to say I hate relying on the fact that I need medicine when I'm sick and stuff. I hate relying on other stuff that I don't trust lol. But more accurately, I HATE PLASTERS OMG. I seriously hate it! They're so disgusting and gooey and GROSS OMG! :( GROSSSSSSSSSS~
And I'm overreacting again. Dude, get a hold of yourself lol. Maybe I'll officially be declared insane in the coming years haha. Friends, remember to visit me in the IMH okay? BRING ME SUNFLOWERS. Ignore the bitter old Shimin who says they're too yellow, bright and cheerful lol. :P
One thing I've learned though:
Life always has its ups and downs. At the down part of your life, you may feel like nothing is right, and nothing can ever make it perfect again. Truth is, all you have to do is to look within yourself. Are you feeling right? If you are, your life will be right. If you aren't, your life will be wrong. I feel that among all the questions that one can ever ask me, this question:
Are you okay?
Is the one that touches me the most. "Are you okay?" Means that the person has sensed something amiss with you. "Are you okay?" Means that the person cares for you. In many ways, "Are you okay?" also means "I love you."
And I do love you, so friends,
"Are you all okay?"
#smiles
P.S. Just realised that Suuswen linked me in her blog and put me as "Cassie" LOL! The funny thing is, my blog RARELY talks about DBSK lol. It's more of me bitching more than anything else. :) I'm sorry any Cassies who click on this link but if you want those fangirling stuff, you're looking at the wrong blog. Although DBSK may be my very first love, they're only a part of my life, not its entirety, and this blog is meant for my friends only so.. :) Hee!
P.P.S. To all my friends out there who are feeling sad and stressed over various reasons (special highlight goes to Yilian, Tingwei and Nelli), don't worry,
"It always gets better."
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Actually, I'm just kidding. Life never gets any better. :D But if you think about it that way, life can't get more worse too! HEEHEE! ^^
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